| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have decided to break up with my boyfriend. i can no longer stand his constant distrust. he gets angry at me for missed phone calls even though i call him right back. he questions male voices in the background even though it's my dad he's hearing. he even used to call me names bec a friend i haven't been in touch with thought i was with somebody else. he uses an incident as an excuse- he found out a guy made a long-distance phone call to me and he assumed i was cheating. i think the only reason i stayed in this relationship anyway is not bec i love him but bec i have become addicted to him. what can i do to stay firm in my decision? i know i no longer want to go back to that kind of miserable life.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (6 October 2006):
You've decided to break up, but you are addicted to him.
HMMM. How had he responded when you told him how
uncomfortable it makes you feel when he is so untrusting?
If he really loves you, maybe he could change. Maybe he
had deep psychic scars from a previous affair that
involved an untrustworthy woman? He is insecure, for sure.
Maybe, if you're ambivalent, take a break for a few
weeks and then decide about a real breakup?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): if you don't want to go back to a "miserable life", then don't. you're in control here. do what you feel led to do. if you have to, change your phone number. move. or simply don't respond to messages he's leaving. make yourself unavailable. men do it all the time when they're ready to move on. just say no.
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