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male
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anonymous
writes: First off, sorry that this question is long but I don't know how else to shorten it.I ended the relationship between me and my girlfiend of 2 years in February 2005. We started going out late 2002. She was all I wanted in a girlfriend, affectionate, kind, caring etc. Shortly after going out I fell out with my mam and left home. Me and the girlfriend started renting a house and eventually bought one. I ended it because we could not afford to have no fun anymore and we had a £70,000 house which wanted a lot of work done to it and an extortionate mortgage. I wish I'd just suggested selling the house and not splitting up now.I really miss her and still love her very much. I have asked her back out but she is seeing a boy, a best friend from her school days and she has told me she has moved on. The thing is he lives and works in London and she lives at the other end of the country. When she left school she would not even go to university because she did not want to leave her mam alone, even though her mam has a partner. I can't give up on her because unless her new boyfriend moves up here I know she will not be prepared to move down country. I have contact with her best friend who is married to my best friend and most people, including ome of her friends, say that I should not give up on her but just to send her little reminders now and then that I still care, which I have been doing. I saw her in a club at the weekend and she said hi, whilst a friend was dragging her around the club. I got upset and left the club. I have met another girl that wants a relationship but I have told her that if I still love my ex how can I start a new one. Should I give up on my ex or get on with my own life?
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female
reader, rachel bushell  +, writes (19 November 2009):
i think that you should definently keep trying, she must still have feelings for you deep down and if i was you dont let her go that easy. I split up with my girlfriend about 2 weeks ago and told her its best if we are friends, i did this because i was stressed as my parents are divorcing after 30 years together, but i regret it so much now, i love her so much and not only did i break her heart but i broke my heart and hate myself for splitting with her. Keep trying mate and remember time is good to spend apart sometimes, well thats what my ex says. Do what ever you can to get her back. Godluck and chin up.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): Dude... Seriously... Get over it. There are a hundred fish in the see and even though it sucks because you pushed her away for the wrong reasons and she may have been perfect there are hundreds of perfect girls for you. What you need to do is either get her glowing, radiating, cartoonishly, up-on-a-pedestal image of her out of your head and accept that fact that she's just another girl and you do at least equally as good if not better and move on, start dating the other girl and get over it... OR... get that image out of your head and use what you know to take control, and win her back... as of right now, you're regretting what happened so much that its paralyzing you... stop regretting, take control, make a decision... seriously
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2005): if you really love her u should try to hold on somehow. you will never be happy with another person if u are still in love with her. you guys had soemthing togther or it wouldnt last 2 years. Take sometime sit with her and talk to her. tell her how u feel .If u think she is 100% sure that she moved on and she have nothng for you then u have to take sometime to urself and then move on. its going to be hard but try. it takes time but try ....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2005): You dont know what you have got til its gone..the only person to answer that question is you and only you..i cant tell you who to love and who will make you happy..if in your heart you love her and want to be with her then i wouldnt give up trying but if you know in your heart that there will never be any relationship between you two anymore then you must give up and get a life of your own.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2005): Regrets are tough to live with. Someone once described a 'regret' to me as a bird that lands on your shoulder, craps in your beer and laughs at you. First of all, I'm trying to understand, that if you loved and cherished this woman-why would you just let her go like that? I mean, the harsh realities of building a good life with someone we love is 'sacrifice/hard work/perseverence' and I'm trying to understand why you felt so incapable..that you felt she wouldn't stick it out with you, through good and bad times? It really sounds like you pushed her away, to protect yourself from the possibility of an eventual rejection. Your possible uncertainties about yourself, likely made her feel like she was dumped and abandoned. Is this a case of how 'fear is a great motivator and an even greater inhibitor'? A tough lesson to learn about life and love-sorry you are so sad over this, dear.
In truth, it sounds like you ex gf has indeed, moved on with her life and you may have to just accept that fact, as hard as it is. You cannot force or make anyone love you-she has to want to come back and , it appears she doesn't, now. It's obvious she took the time away from you to grieve and recover from this relationship with you and I suggest you do the same. If it becomes increasingly hard, consider talking to a relationship counselor just to get a good perspective on "what it takes to move on"....you take care and keep being strong, hun.
Hugs,
Irish
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