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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi everyone. I need to talk and get advice. Its a long story but the key points really are, me and my ex were together for 3 years, a year ago half of my family got involved in my relationship causing trouble, saying i wasnt happy even though i was, and when you hear it everytime you see them you start to believe it. They said they wouldn't come round my house if she was here (i didnt let them come round after that) so i was put in the middle. My partner at the time was upset and didnt like my family and it put a real wedge between us. After this happened things started to get bad between us. My ex started getting stressed and angry alot, she lost her job and her ex (the father of her child) made things difficult for her, she then started university and i became lower and lower on her priority list, i always said i wouldnt ever be number one because of her daughter and i always treated her as my own, but she just didnt have any time for me. There wasnt any connection, talking, emotion, laughter, sexual things or effection. I had my issues like jealousy, mardyness, insecurity etc and things just got worse. I broke up with her in may, and i had a complete breakdown because of everything that was going on in my life with my family. I regret ending it and i just dont know how to move on. I love her and her daughter so much and i want to fight for her. She said there isn't a chance or we can't change things but i just want to prove to her we can make things amazing again. Ive tried to move on i really have but the thought of me with someone else makes me feel sick. I have sorted my issues out and just want her back.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, abeautifulday  +, writes (25 July 2014):
I think you have to really dig deep and try to figure out what went wrong in your relationship. Find out if those issues were temporary ones, or if they were a result of both of your personalities.Its hard sometimes when our partners get really busy trying to accomplish their goals, to keep the romance alive in the relationship. The good thing to do would have been to find some time every day to reconnect, and to be patient as every relationship has periods where you are either very close together, or focusing on other things. I think I would give it some time, and maybe try and talk to your ex about how she sees both of you. If she really doesn't see a possibility of you two rekindling your relationship, it's no point to keep dwelling on it. I know perfectly well how you feel, but every breakup goes through different stages, if after a while you see she maybe isn't open to retry your relationship, you have to let go, even if you think she is the only one. Trust me, after a while those feelings will calm down, and a few months after, when the wounds have healed, you will be ready and open to meeting other people. Its just the natural flow of a break up, you can't force it, or speed it up.Loads of strength!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2014): You ended it. Leave her alone and let her get her life together. Maybe once she's settled, she'll get in touch with you. Or maybe not.
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