A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don’t know where to start..I broke up with my boyfriend for 7 years because I am in love with a guy who is my bf’s friend. I am 27 years old already. I had physical intimacy with this guy for 4 years and I’ve been keeping this guilt feeling for so many years. I wanted to break up with the guy or my bf to straighten things out but it was so hard for me..Now, I was able to do it. During my connection with this other guy, I encouraged him to continue his schooling and so he did, and financially I am supporting him. Although, he would pay me a small amount for what he borrowed for his schooling there are times that I don’t want to see him anymore, because it was hard for me to think over my situation with him and exbf. Moving forward, the situation was getting complicated since this guy was telling me that if we will not be together in the end or if I marry my bf, he would pursue my sister. Actually, it was a tension for me since I already fell in love with him already. However, why would he say those things if he is in love with me? He said he was just joking but for me, jokes are half meant. I don’t know what to feel..Should I be nervous? Angry? I am so paranoid!At the very beginning, I said that I already broke up with my bf. Actually, one of the reasons was that, he is unemployed until now. The pacing of our relationship is too slow. I was attracted with my bf’s friend when he was cheating on me. Now, that I wanted the other guy, it seems that he does not love me anymore. He does not even text or call me daily, only once a week when he needs to ask me for a favor, to do some stuff for him, like do his History assignment, or see him since he’ll be giving me the payment he borrowed. He said that he should not be the reason of the break-up. But actually he is as I am already in love with him and I want to correct things as early as now. But I don’t understand why he is making excuses on whether to pursue me or not, he said wait for him to finish schooling before we can be together..and he even told me that it’s complicated as everyone knows he is a friend of my ex. But he still wants to see me, gives me food and other things that would lure me towards him. I told him I want to move on and so I need to get myself be restricted of seeing him. Questions: a. Am I correct that I did break up with my bf? Should I go back to him and leave the other guy? b. Should I wait for this other guy and believe that he will pursue him in the end? Or maybe not because he has no consideration as he might be pursuing my sis that’s why he does not want me anymore?c. Or should I give myself a chance to be single so I may see a bigger perspective of what’s ahead of me? And just forget of this guy..even though we have to connection because of his schooling, me as the financier and just make things civil?Please I am so confused and very insecure of myself. I need help.
View related questions:
broke up, fell in love, insecure, move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): Thank you for the advice..thank you for this site as well..
your answers will help me decide smoothly
A
female
reader, Babilonia  +, writes (4 February 2010):
well, it seems that you know what to do, you just need a push.
its better to give a break and stay single for a while. going back to your ex wont help as you like another guy. and this second guy doesn want you for sure...
stay single, go out with yor friends, enjoy life and suddently you will fall in love again for another guy. just be patient, take your time. the rest will happen naturally. dont blame yourself.
I've been through something similar, making the wrong choice, and because i did not want to go back to my ex I faced my mistake and moved on. one thing that helped me a lot was going out with friends, as this stopped me of thinking about it, or staying at home crying over the spilled milk.
Good luck
...............................
|
