A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi - I need some advice as I don't know if its me that insecure So my bf and I have been together 8 months, and everything is good, only recently, he got in touch with a girl on FB. We share a FB page, so I saw the messages too, and they seemed innocent and he spoke about me as his GF. She is his sisters friends, and they were sort of friends before but lost touch. He then asks for her number, and calls her 'lucky charm' because after he started talking to her he finds a job (never mind that I helped look for the job!) She doesn't give him the number. Then this girl suddenly falls ill, and my bf's sister wants to go see her, so he lends his sister money to get a cab there. This girl gets mentioned a lot in conversations. I got fed up of this, and broke up with him, because I was feeling crappy about always speaking about this girl...but now I'm not sure I did the right thing. I have been know to over react, so I don't know if I did or not. I said that if she was such a big deal to him, that he should go be with her - he said that he had no designs to leave me to go be with a single mom of two kids with different fathers, but that he has a soft spot for people in a bad situation because he grew up in a dysfunctional family. Am I wrong? RIght? Selfish?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 August 2012):
 I see nothing in what you write that would raise a red flag in the relationship between him and the friend.
But I'm sure there are things you haven't written. If it felt like the right decision, then maybe it was for you.
The thing is, you are going to end a lot of relationships if you can't handle the guy having a female friend. It seems rather jealous and petty honestly. (but again I can only go by what little you wrote).
A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (10 August 2012):
 What's right, wrong, selfish, etc in your case is not something that can be defined in black and white terms, what really matters is what you feel for him and what your gut is telling you.
If you feel your emotions have cooled down a bit and you want to talk to him, then do so, I'm sure he wants to see you too.
Get together, drop all issues on the table and see if you can find some common ground/compromise before making drastic decisions as far as the relationship goes, it's normally so easy to make a serious decision in the heat of the moment, and one that you normally would'nt make.
So go easy on yorself.
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