A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'll make this has short has possible. Me and my bf have been together for 6 years, we've had our problems, broken up a few times but managed to get back together to make things work because we love each other. I just broken up with him again probably for the millionth time and the reason for it is because of sex! It's pretty stupid really why we've fought about that topic for the past week maybe more.But getting to the point. In the past whenever he asked for it I would say no because I didn't want to at the moment, sometimes I would give in but most times it was no. Lately however to save us from fighting about why I said no I just gave in. Then all of a sudden when he'd ask things would be like this:Him: Lets have sex.Me: Sure.Him: No its okay we don't have to, i'll deal with it myself.Which is frustrating because he asked in the first place. When I confronted him about this yesterday he said he wanted me to want to be with him in that way. understand this but i'm not going to want sex the same time he does, I just do it for the sake of making him happy, which apparently isn't making him happy at all. Sure I could ask him for sex when I want to but whenever I am in the mood for it he is at work and when he gets home from work he is tired so I don't feel like I shouldn't be bugging him for sex.I've tried compromising but he won't bulge, the only thing he tells me is that I have to want to want to be with him in order for us to have sex.I've broken up with him because the fighting about this topic is stupid and just finally got on my nerves, and the fact that he won't let us have sex because he won't just let me give him sex when he wants too, which would have put us in a sexless relationship and the relationship would have eventally ran its course because we hardly talk any more.Even though the reasoning behind breaking up with him was stupid did I do the right thing?
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at work, broke up, get back together, in the mood Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (2 May 2015):
 Sageoldguy's FIRST rule of intimacy and relationships:
IF you (and he) can't reconcile a difference in your menus of S/S/I (that's sensual, sexual, intimate) goings-on.... THEN your "relationship" is doomed to failure....
Contemplate that... and see if you and B/F really CAN go on...
Good luck...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe hasn't rejected me for sex because I never ask. Like I said in my post when I am in the mood for sex he is at work and when he gets home I know he is tired so I don't bug him for sex or even mention it, we just cuddle and that's it.
I understand his point but i'm not going to want it at the same time he does.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (2 May 2015):
 I think the answer lies in why you mostly don't want to have sex when he wants it. It's stupid to break up due to arguments about sex but it is just as stupid to stay in the relationship that doesn't work. Breaking up many times without resolving the problem is a sign that you two just don't get along. He has a point too when he said you need to want him in that way. At the beginning of the relationship I am sure he wanted sex even when he was tired but now he's saying no, probably to let you have a taste of rejection and also he's giving up on the relationship. He doesn't feel like fighting for it anymore.
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