A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im in college living on campus with my friends in an aparment and I've been in a relationship for almost four years now and I've finally had enough of the stuff that he put me though so I broke up with him. He has almost expected me to be there at his becking call and to wait for him until he pleases and wants to see me.He lost his job and he got kicked out of his house for his actions and I helped him a lot during this time. I let him borrow my car to look for a job...(my parents didn't approve of him driving my car cus he has had many tickets for speeding) my phone and not just for a phone call either he would take my phone to go hangout with his friends...I let him stay at my on campus apartment while he looked for a job. It seemed like he was taking advantage of my help and expected from me just because we were together. He even took my car and phone without me even knowing to pick up his friends and hangout at my friends house without me...I was very mad but of course to him and his friends I overacted about it all.. Did I really? So I let that one go by he later was at his friends and asked me to meet him to pick him up but later called me after I waited about 30 mins and told me to forget about it. This was it for me I broke with him at this point. Now he keeps showing up to my apartment asking me to give him another chance and he is willing to change but I've gave him soo many chances and I've had enough of the same stuff over and over again. I know he will never change and he will always continue to put his friends before me. We talked and he told me his life was worthless without me and that he would never find anyone like me. And i dont want him to do something stupid because i wont go back with him.I don't want to fall back in his trap. What do I do? Have I overacted about the whole situation? Please help!
View related questions:
broke up, lost his job Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 November 2012):
 I see that you have actually answered YOUR OWN QUESTION. See it there???.... You write: "I don't want to fall back in his trap..."
So, don't....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 November 2012):
 I think you did the right thing, FOR YOU. And in some ways for him too. Now he is FORCED to make his own way.
Yes, the dude took you and your "stuff" 100% for granted. Even people who are married and share a car, make sure they check with their partner before just "taking" off.
He wants back because he had a place to hang out, a car to drive and a phone to use, and lets not forget a GF who put up with him and his behavior.
IF.... you take him back this WILL continue. YOU will HAVE to be the "parent" in the relationship. And trust me... that is NO fun in the long run, only frustrating.
Let him go. I think you two grew apart and you just didn't see it til it was RIGHT in your face.
...............................
A
female
reader, Romanilove +, writes (17 November 2012):
You're doing the right thing! You're not overreacting at all. Do not go back with him, he will only put you through more of the same anguish.
...............................
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (17 November 2012):
I think you did the right thing. He's still a kid and his words do sound like a trap. Everything you said seemed 100% accurate because I could never get away with the things he did. Good luck and all the best for your brighter future.
...............................
A
male
reader, DDOC  +, writes (17 November 2012):
He is a deadbeat. He is a loser and has loved the fact that you have allowed him to run over you.
So now he has lost a good thing. You need to stay strong and keep him out of your life regardless of his threats, innuendos or actions.
You deserve much much more than that!
...............................
A
male
reader, CEP +, writes (17 November 2012):
 First off, no, you didn't over react. You did the mature thing, and lately that's hard for a young person to do nowadays. You shouldn't feel guilty that you broke up with him, he was lazy, inconsiderate and he seemed like he didn't appreciate you very much. You are doing the best thing for you, because you've been giving him what he asked for, you weren't being selfish at all, but you were enabling him to be selfish. Yes you should have sat him down and talked to him about ground rules, and you should have told him what was acceptable and what wasn't, but I'm also not telling you to get back together with him, it would be best to help him from a distance and tell him that you don't want to get back together if you truly don't want to, talk to your parents about this as well, I'm sure they'll be extremely proud of you in your decision. I hope at least some of this was an encouragement, just take a deep breath and relax, you're in college and you really shouldn't be worried about anyone else at the moment, take care of yourself and always be considerate of others
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012): No, you didn't overreact. The reason he's so upset now is that he's lost access to your car, phone, etc.
He isn't going to change, no matter what he says. So stay strong and keep reminding yourself that you've given him a lot of chances already, and he's blown it.
You deserve a guy who's responsible and who will be a giver as well as a taker.
...............................
|
