A
female
age
30-35,
*cey lacey
writes:i broke up with my ex tim* 4 months ago (we were together for a year and a half and completely in love) because this is our senior year and i felt like i missed out on having fun with my own friends and i felt like i was in a committed relationship for too long and i was scared time was running out.. we go to different schools (in the same neighborhood) and we have different friends and different social events. during the time we broke up we still hung out and talked as normal.... even though i was seeing someone and my ex knew. every once in a while my ex would get really upset and get angry about how im with the other guy and still sorta with him at the same time... he felt replaced so quickly and wanted me back... he too, was seeing a other girls though and hanging out with his friends a lot more after 4 months, i came to realize that my priorities before hand were wrong and that tim is so important to me and being with him for the remainder of my senior year is actually whats important. im ready for commitment and i love him so much and i wana prove that i have my priorities set. i told him all of this 3 weeks ago... but he told me he love mes very much and wants to be with me later on but now wants space.. i felt so rejected and angry bc i came to him so strong and ready to be with him. and i couldnt take not talking to him anymore bc when i was the one that broke up with him i gave him so much closure and wee still hung out together.. but he wants to break away from me... we were very back and forth for 3 weeks fighting making up and then fighting again.. now, he tells me he wants space bc he's not ready to be committed,hes having so much fun with his friends does not want to give that up, he thinks he has more fun with them when he has the mentality of having no girlfriend what so ever. it kills me to hear that, i love him so much and i just messed up and now he became this over-confident guy who doesnt need me, but i need him and want to be with him more than anything... but when i try to talk to him he tells me to stop ranting and to leave him alone. he makes me feel empty bc i really want him and he pushes me away nonstop. Thankfully though, he agreed to stop seeing other girls. and i obviously agreed not to see anyone either. i know i have to give him time but it hurts so much that he doesnt want me and i cant stand that he barely wants to talk to me... he tells me he loves me so much and wants to be with me soon but he cant stand the thought of having a girlfriend, he messes with my head so much but i cant even seem to let him go. i need some advice about this one... thanks
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female
reader, Miss King !  +, writes (22 January 2010):
 I think you need to remember the way you hurt him when you first broke up with him. After all, you were the one that started the uncertainty about the relationship. He probably remembers the sadness he felt and is trying to avoid going through it again which you cant really blame him for.
I would try and concentrate on yourself for now, the things that are important e.g work, school, friends, health, sports, saving for summer holidays etc. He clearly cares about you, but at the moment you bombarding him with hopes to get back together is probably just making him back off even more. You're both young and hanging out with friends might be more appealing to him than working out how you can be together again after all has happened. If you both get on with things and remain friends for now then eventually things might work out.
If its right you will get back together, if its not you wont get back together, but whatever happens it will be for the best. You dont want to rush him into a decission now, he may regret getting back with you and end it straight away. Keep it cool and just relax, be his friend. If you end up staying as friends then at least you have both saved yourselves from getting hurt again.
Hope this helps, and hope it all works out okay.
Good Luck! x x
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