A
female
age
26-29,
*heergirl95
writes:okay, i was with this guy for 13 months and i'm completely in love with him. i broke up with him yesterday because he just wasn't the same as he used to be. he used to not get as mad as easily, now he loses his temper on little things and blows up on me for it. we used to be able to sort out our problems by talking it out, and now he just always has to touch me or something. our relationship drasticly changed after i gave him a bj, then after that when we were with each other it seemed like if i wanted any attention then i had to give him a bj first. and our relationship was never based on sex until i first gave him a bj. but yesterday he got mad because of a joke that was said about me and this guy that was my best friend and he totally blew up. he yelled at me and implied that i was cheating on him. he threw stuff around and walked out on me and didnt come back for 10 minutes. when he came back i told him that i couldnt be with someone who made me feel terrible for things i didnt do. also, he had been planning on going into the military and i just cant have that in my future. ive never wanted that and ive tried to cope with his decision but i just cant. its killing me being away from him, but its better then trying to be someone im not and planning for a future i dont want. so heres the question. does anyone have any tips for getting over him? did i do the right thing by breaking it off with him? ive been crying my eyes out and i dont know what to do. please, any help would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 Yes, you did the right thing. You don't fit in each other life plans- and you have to perform sexual acts to get his attention. Two major roadblocks , this was not leading anywhere and dragging it on would have just brought you more grief.
As for getting over it- derling, be patient : of course you are crying your eyes out, what do you expect, you broke up YESTERDAY ! There are stages people go through when dealing with a loss, and you are just at the beginning of this process. Which, luckily, at your age it's much faster than at other ages in life, chances are that in 2-3 months you'll be totally over him, and maybe in love with someone else .
In the meantime, the usual stuff- don't stay home moping and listening to sad love songs- go out as much as you can, hang out with friends, burn energy in something physically tiring, maybe start some new hobby or passtime, something to distract you. Look forward,not backward, at your age you'll have plenty of better chances. And next time- first you make very very sure the relationship is solid and balanced, THEN you start with sexual stuff, OK ?
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