A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have had a girlfriend for eight months, but sadly we broke up not too long ago. I loved her and she loved me. That was clear. We laughed all the time and helped each other through hard times.Then, someone else came into the picture. He guilted her into a relationship through agonizing song and puppy dog eyes. This means she had to break up with me. He is going away for a very long time in June. She is unhappy. Everyone can see it in her eyes. He uses her to do his bidding. She is his slave. He uses her purely for kisses and stimulation.She is way to kind for that. What should I do? I still love her so much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2007): What is he, a foreign exchange student? Or someone her parents took in for some reason? Well, either way, you were out-gunned. I would forget the whole thing. Get on with your own life, and don't waste any of it pining. At your age, girls are endless. There will be many of them you will meet and like, and at least one will like you back. You will not have to wait or look long. Trust me. (wink) Tom
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice. When i said she had to break up with me, I meant that he made her feel very bad about herself. He lives with her, so it is hard for them to avoid each other. I think she saw it as a situation where it would be easier to date him for the year that he is here rather than tell him no.
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A
female
reader, honestandhumble +, writes (14 April 2007):
 I think you should just try and talk it out with her. But dont put any pressure on her. If you let her know that it is her decision, then she will most likely make the right one. Just show her how much happier she can be, even if it isn't with you. She'll respect that and will think it's sweet.
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (14 April 2007):
 I agree with Roy. You said she had to leave you because of the puppy eyes and the song and while I don't exactly want to shatter your dreams she left because she wanted to. Puppy eyes and songs wouldn't get a girl to feel forced to leave a guy they love. They would only leave if they wanted to. Likewise she is now in this situation where you see her as a slave, maybe she likes it. I think you need to write this girl off to experience. She's made her choice and you have to learn to live with it.
CD
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (14 April 2007):
 I dont think you can do very much. She has made a choice and no matter how hard it is for you to see the good points she obviously sees something worth staying for.
The most you can do is be there as a friend if she needs you. If she really is unhappy then you will know, and she will ask for help and support from the people around her.
You say "this means she had to break up with me?" What does that mean?
She HAD to do nothing, it was here choice. Did you not fight for her (not literally)? but if she made this choice solely on the basis of someone fluttering their eyelashes than is she worth your time and effort if that is all it takes?
I think you can do nothing more then be there as a friend, she neeeds to learn from her mistakes (if any) from all of this.
Start to try and move on and go from there.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, beautifulllove +, writes (14 April 2007):
 If she really loved you than she wouldn't have left you for him and i think if she was unhappy than she would have at least tried to get out of it or talk to someone about it. Have you thought she might be happy and you only see her as sad because your hoping there is something still there for you and her to fix? Even thow your still friends or what not my advise is to sit back and try to not get to much involved you might ruin any chance with her again and or hurt your self. Good luck and i hope every thing works ok
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): Well, young and anonymous, I am afraid there is little at this point you can do. If she cannot see through this guy, or can, but won't ditch him,...it will remain her problem. I understand your pain, it has been felt by many. But she had her chance with you, and chose him. Let her deal with it. If she has the good sense to dump him, then you are free to try again. I am not sure that I would, but that's your decision. You will not be thanked for any interference now. Remember why cops hate to go to a domestic abuse call. They are usually turned on by the abused party and the abuser as well.
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