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male
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*lan691969
writes: I split up with my partner of 8 years three months ago. We have a 6 year old daughter together and she has 2 other kids from a previous relationship who still come out with me every Sunday. She has just told me she has started seeing someone else now and, god did that hurt !! I can't understand why though because it was me who finished with her because of the way I was treated (like a doormat). I could handle it if I didn't have to have contact with her, but because of the kids I have to.All day every day I think of her with someone else !! I try to think of all the bad things she has done to me but all the good ones keep coming back. Please advise how to get over this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2006): I think breakups goes through two particularly difficult stages,
The first is the actually breaking up, the second is finding out they are with someone else.
I would say the feeling is normal and it does not necessarily mean you made the wrong choice.
I have heard (from a lot of friends) that the best way to get over it is to sleep with someone else, then it won't bother you any more, or, at least so much. I don't know how true that is though, I haven't ever done it, but it seems to work in broken up couples that both wanted to stay broken up.
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female
reader, immuno +, writes (2 August 2006):
 When you broke it off obviously you still had feelings for her. You probably expected the break up to be a wake up call to her. When she accepted the break up you were not expecting it. You said she treated you like a doormat, sometimes when people are together for awhile, even though they care about each other, they tend to take each other for granted. Unfortunately if she did agree to this break up then she probably did not have the same feelings for you that you had for her. On the other hand she could be attempting to make you jealous out of retaliation. It seems to me that 3 months after an 8 year relationship seems a little fast to start another. If the retaliation thing is not a factor and this new relationship is valid then you should ask yourself how long it would take you to find someone new after losing someone you loved. I hope it is a jealousy thing and you guys can work it out but if not hang tough for all of your sakes and move on.
Good luck!
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female
reader, DEBS83  +, writes (2 August 2006):
 this takes time its harder cus kids are involed so there is always that bond between you try picking kids up from one of her family members or she drops um off at one of your familys homes.dont drell on it get yourself out meet someone else i dont you dont feel like that now but you will in time it took me 10months to stop mopeing abt my ex and i found some one better iam sure you will to
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