A
male
age
51-59,
*corpio1112
writes:Dear Cupid,I've been in a long distance relationship for the past 5 months and it's been a little difficult since we've only been seeing each other once a month, and recently started seeing each other 2X per month. We also have been chatting and skyping everyday. In addition, she lives with her Dad, so she is always coming to visit me, but he doesn't approve as he is very strict. She is also a grown woman(25).Anyway, we love each other very much and eventually want to get married.But, I started to over think our situation, and although I love her very much, decided to break off the relationship due to all of the obstacles. Well, 3 days later I really regretted my decision since I'm crazy about her and want to try to make it all work.I called her to reconcile and she told me how much she loves me and misses me, and I apologized as much as anyone can. She seemed to understand and be ok with it. Then, the next day she turned cold on me and really let me have it. Telling me all of my faults, how upset she was, how I made her cry, and that I will do this again. There was no use talking to her and she told me to forget about her.I let a day pass and decided to write her a message on FB, trying to explain myself, etc... Well, she blocked me on FB. I truly regret what I did and wish I could take it back, but I can't. Now I don't know what to do. She is obviously very upset, so I want to give her some space, but now I fear that moment in time may have ruined everything and I'm sick to my stomach.Please help...
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male
reader, Scorpio1112 +, writes (26 October 2012):
Scorpio1112 is verified as being by the original poster of the question@person12345:You're probably right. My friends know her fairly well, since she always made the trip to visit me. I've never met any of her friends. And i never visited because she lives with her Dad who doesn't approve of our relationship, or any relationship for that matter. I've also never met him. I did visit her once, but her Dad doesn't permit her to sleep over anywhere if she's staying local, so it was much easier for her just to make the trip to me and spend the weekend. Her Dad wasn't ok with that either, but she did it anyway. Also, I did wait a day after she expressed her anger and disappoint with me, and wrote her a long message expressing how i felt. And that's when she blocked me from FB. So maybe giving her that space is a better idea.Just to back track for a second, we were supposed to go on vacation this coming week together, and when she initially seemed ok, she turned on me when I mentioned continuing with our vacation. She said I liked everything easy and I should be more humble, etc...Anyway, I digress, but it is what it is...
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 October 2012):
 It's kind of hard to say what you should do, we don't know her. She might need time to breathe and some space so she can have time to miss you, or she might want you to make some grand gesture (like flying out to see her on a whim). I think if ALL your friends are saying give her space, you should probably listen to your friends since they know her. Do you know any of her friends?
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A
male
reader, Scorpio1112 +, writes (25 October 2012):
Scorpio1112 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again for your answers.... It's greatly appreciated!
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A
male
reader, Scorpio1112 +, writes (25 October 2012):
Scorpio1112 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all of your responses. They're all somewhat different, but all have a lot of value to them. But the bottom line is, that you're all right. Before making such a decision, I should have taken my time to make absolutely sure. Hopefully I haven't lost her and she will forgive me. I didn't make this decision because of not loving her, or not wanting to be with her. I made it because I thought in the long run it wouldn't work because there were too many obstacles. I know I should be more positive when it comes to the woman I love and should do everything it takes to make things work. So, I'm not prepared to give up and will do everything I can to regain her trust.It's funny, because while most of you said not to give her space, a few of my close friends all said to give her space, and let her anger subside a little bit. Waiting a couple of weeks before contacting her. So I guess now that's the only part confusing me! Now, or later!! All I know is the waiting is killing me...
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 October 2012):
It sounds like just as you changed your mind, now she's changed hers. The way you are feeling now? That's how she was feeling when you broke up with her.
I think there would be some benefit to being a bit persistent, but only for a week or so and don't do anything creepy. Just tell her you love her and how you will never hurt her again, etc... and then leave her alone to think.
In the end it is her decision now and unfortunately not thinking this through before saying it was over may have cost you the relationship. In the end there were obviously reasons why you broke off the relationship and you should remind yourself of them.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (24 October 2012):
 I don't think she is gone for good, I think she is just terrified of you doing the same thing to her all over again. She is very angry and upset, rightfully so. However I don't think giving her space is necessarily the best idea at this moment. You need to prove that you do care and you don't want her going anywhere. Prove it won't happen again and you are sure of it. She blocked you on fb but do you have other means to contact her, like by phone? I would copy and paste this article and send it in an email. Or the link to this page. It shows you are quite serious and made a mistake, you are looking to others for advice on how to get her back. Then I would call and if she won't answer then leave a voicemail explaining you made a huge mistake, you won't ever do it again, you are very sorry you hurt her, and you will be waiting as long as it takes for her to forgive you. You are in it for the long haul and you will be waiting by the phone when she is ready to get back to you.
And then leave it. Send a text or email once a week simply saying- I'm still here. Don't worry. When her anger dies down she will respond to you. But "giving her space" will make her feel like you didn't care. You dumped her, tried to get her back, then just let it go- you didn't fight for her. Girls want you to chase them, they want you to fight. It's how we know you care. I doubt she is doing this intentionally to get reactions from you, but she does secretly hope you will fight for her.
After sending an email once a week for awhile (I would say maybe a month) and you didn't get a response then she obviously isn't over it and you must move on. But until then try your hardest. If you are serious about her this shouldn't be a problem.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012): You most probably didn't make a mistake, and after your heart heals you will remember all the reasons why you broke it off, and eventually be happy with that decision. IF by any chance, you keep regretting your decision many months later, then clock it up to a hard lesson to learn in life. You have to value and treasure your relationship and others' feelings more. You need to think through big life changing decisions for a couple of weeks. You need to be more committed to a relationship if you commit to it.... Really hard lesson to learn, but it sounds like the trust for her is gone, and she isn't going to risk getting hurt again OR you gave her the 'out' she wanted, and is holding on to it tightly. You will love again, you will get over the heart ache. Eventually, you will be happy with your decision.
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A
female
reader, Pumafruit  +, writes (24 October 2012):
I think she may need proof of your feelings for her, so the harder you try to contact her the more wanted she'll feel again. You clearly hurt her, so she would need reassurance this won't happen again, be persistent and thoughtful.
Don't make excuses, just say how you feel.
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