A
male
age
36-40,
*igmistsake23
writes:Ok, so ive made a really big mistake. i broke up with my girlfriend of four years in early december... this is the fourth time ive broken up with her and every other time she has taken me back. i was very unhappy. I never knew what i was unhappy about. i had everything i ever wanted including a job,car,house,family, money and a great girlfriend. I have since had a breakdown where i have realised that there is nothing that should have been making me unhappy and i am getting help to try and work through this. Unfortunatley when we were together because I was so confused I didn't treat this girl very well... i was in a bad place... i never treated her, i never told her how amazing she was... i actually did the opposite... i made her miserable just like me. i thought i didn't want to be with her and that she was my problem so i didn't pay her the attention she deserved and basically i treated her like garbage. This affected her happiness and her confidence. Since we have broken up she has moved on and is now very happy as she is surrounded by family and friends and i never want this to change. i have explained my situation to her and she has been understanding and i have told her that i will do anything to get back with her but she thinks that i am just panicking (as do some of my friends). She has explained to me that she is seeing other people and that they are making her very happy.All i want is for her to be happy. and i'm happy for her. she has said that she would be willing to give me another shot but that i have to really make her feel special, and she really has to believe that i want to be back with her etc... if i get this chance i know we can be good together. she has asked me not to talk to her for the next two weeks as i am just bringing her down and back to what she had already resolved... i don't want to wait to start trying to win her back... i miss her and my life is incomplete without her. i have been with other people because i thought that is what i wanted and i could only think of her.i don't want to be with anyone else. She's my world. I really need advice on what i should do. I think about her constantly and it really upsets me that by the time she may accept that i do want her that she may already be with someone else. i hte myself for what i did to this girl. The longer i leave it the harder it is going to be because she is going to be moving away this summer. I really don't know what to do... i don't want to keep annoying her with texts and emails because i think that will only push her away from me... but when i talk to her i'm calm and happy and get huge relief. I know it's been only 5 weeks since we broke up but i really feel ive grown up a lot and will never treat anyone like that again...but i want it to be her... please if any of you think you can help me please please im open to anything...And thank you in advance
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male
reader, mpboomer  +, writes (11 January 2011):
Dude, the first answer is exactly right. Give her space and be patient. Take the two weeks to work on yourself. There is a website that gives you techniques to help with this kind of situation. The website is magicofmakingup.com. Good luck and don't hesitate to post updates on your progress.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): Okay, girls want to be treated correctly, not getting treated the way you feel. With you bothering her so much, your right that will only push her away, maybe try to be friends with her. Understand her life more, and try to be a changed person, not a miserable one. Pray about it, God just may give you an answer you just need to look for it. You sound pretty in love with this girl so don't give up, but don't be annoying either. So, be friends, this girl sounds pretty amazing to give you so many chances, that means shes not done yet. Give it time, and thought, and your question will be answered. Hopefully what you wanted.
Good luck(:
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