A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a man about a year ago. We hit it off wonderfully and began dating, and for six months everything was wonderful. Our schedules changed and we both accepted that we would have less time to spend with each other but would like to stay in contact. About two weeks after I didn't hear from him for 10 days striaght. So I stayed calm and sent him texts and left a couple of messages. But there was no reply, so I called and spoke to him and he told me "I don't want to feel as though I have to call someone everyday" so I ended our relationship right there. He suggested we talk about it the following day but I was so crushed that I declined. Over the next six months he texted me periodically to come over and I ignored them. Until recently I received a respectable "Hi how are you" since then we have decided to remain activity partners. We have gotten together a few times and I have realized that I still have feelings. And each time he was far more attentive and curious about me and my life. I have now invited him out and he declined. So I texted him to find out if there was potential for us and he told me that he doesn't want to hold me back and that he doesn't have an answer he has to find his way first. What do I make of that? Do I leave him behind for good or give him an opporunity to find his way? My gut tells me to wait.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the response, and I would like to put that out there given the opportunity that if its going to work, that it would have to be different.
As well the reason that I broke it all off was not the fact that he hadn't called, but the fact that he replied to me as though I was a chore, "That he doesn't feel as though he should have to..." to me that is a chore, not someone that you want to talk to, or communicate with.
Do you think that he is getting the feeling that things will be the same, from my actions thus far?
This whole situation confuses me as we have so many things in common, goals, interests and intillectually. How come this has been so hard? Is it me creating the rift between us?
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (25 August 2008):
Well if you did wait and then get back together is it going to be any different? He still won't want to call every day. You still may never see each other.
If he knows it's going to be exactly the same and that you are going to be unhappy with him because of this then he may be trying to let you down gently.
It's up to you whether you wait or not but if you are not happy with circumstances the first time round then I very much doubt you would be happy second time around either.
Good Luck!! xx
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