A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been on and off in friendship zone with a married guy for over 3 yrs now. He likes me and i like him too. We are very attracted to each other but we can't do anything about it. I haven't seen him for 2 years now coz he moved back to his country but we talk now and then... mostly just texts inclusive sexting. I know it's wrong since we are both committed so after 3years of secretly being in love with him i wrote him an email in which i confessed about my feelings and told him i can't be friends anymore coz i keep falling deep and nothing good could ever come out of this. He still hasn't replied which am ok with anyway. He knows me inside out, gives me butterflies and makes me behave like a teenager even though we are far from each other and unavailable. I am so angry, heartbroken and relieved at the same time for ending this. I know i have done the right thing. But how do you move on, get your breath back. I feel like am suffocating. Anyone ever been in this situation?
View related questions:
flirt, heartbroken, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your advice. Yes, my marriage has been up and down. We have some issues which were there before i met the other guy. Last year we split up and do some soul-searching coz things were really bad. I did not contact the other guy during that period and i never told him about it. My partner is one who doesn't give enough attention, can't take care of himself (literally i have to comb his hair otherwise he won't do it) if i don't buy him new clothes he could wear rags. He complains too much, everything that goes wrong in the house is my fault. He has a good job and earns more than me and have to remind me about it every time i spend some money. We have been together for 6years and the first 2 years it was so much fun. We could go out together for drinks or dinner and all that. Nowadays he doesn't even try to go out with me. I have to beg him to and it's always boring coz he will be like "did you pay that much for drinks" why did we have to pay entrance to a club"? why, why, why!!we always end up getting angry and go home instead. He knows i like fashion and he says it's stupid and doesn't even try when we are going out. He is amazing in bed but it's always same same things. Have tried sexting with him he doesn't play along, i bought nice sexy lingerie for him to spice up things in bed all he said was "very sexy but a waste of money" i don't need u to do that" wtf?? We have talked about these issues and he said he will work it out and yes he is trying to make things work and that is why i ended the flirtation with the other guy. The other guy scores high on what i like in a man. He is full of life and very smart. Maybe that's why i fell inlove with him. I always felt like i could express myself without trying hard with the other guy than my partner. He gets me and i get him too. he is 15yrs older than me and my partner is 22 yrs older than me. I love my partner and am ready to forget the other guy. I just wish it was that easy... thank you all for your time.
A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (17 May 2014):
Do not tell your partner. It will only hurt him and cause undo stress. You have stopped your unhealthy habits with this married man. It will serve no purpose.
I do think you need to move on. You are wasting your partner's time and energy. You lack of commitment to this relationship will only be unsatisfying. You will never be happy with him.
You should seek some counselling. It is good to have someone who can guide you with some advice and suggestions.
Good Luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2014): Flirting is more friendliness with playful, sexual undertones possibly, SEXTING is full blown cheating. Would you have gone all the way if this married man had given you more opportunity? I'm guessing yes...Even if no Would you be able to trust your partner if you found out he was sexting other girls? Would you also be torn apart from the inside? Even if you want your partner back, he's not going to trust you again, and how would you even guarantee that you won't hurt him again? I'm not trying to have a dig, but in order to move on you need to realise the hurt this will cause him, and come to terms with what you've done- nobody ever INTENDS to hurt someone but how would you feel if it was your partner?Do the decent thing, be honest with him and let him go, realise the hurt it causes and never do anything like it again.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2014): No point being honest because it will ruin your relationship and hurt your partner. Getting it of your chest will not automatically mean the feelings will disappear. The question is what is missing in your relationship that you sought comfort from another man? Maybe you need to take a break from this relationship to figure what you want and is the man with you the right person. The heart wants what it wants and that we cannot control as much as people say that you are married make it work, sometimes we need to re evaluate the people in our life and take hard decisions.
...............................
A
male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (15 May 2014):
 Hi,
You are both in relationships and should know better. No matter the content sexting, texting, photo's etc. You did right to stop the flirting, but I think you need to come clean and let your partner know.
You can't move on until you own up to what you did, if you have ever been cheated on, you know how devistating it can be. If you don't, imagine someone you love so much, ripping your heart out and then stamping on it while you watch.
Be honest, be open and explain why you did what you did.
...............................
|
