A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was with my girlfriend for almost a year, we had some really great times together and as many relationships do, some trying times as well. The last month of the relationship was really odd after she got back from out of town visiting family. We decided to split up. I let a month go by before I contacted her again. I got her a card and wrote my feelings for her inside it and took it to her apt. Inside the card was everything from I miss you, I care about you, etc. She contacted me that night and we decided to meet for lunch the next day. I explained everything to her that was in the card face to face and she said she agreed and she loved me and wanted me to be the man and husband for her. She just needed some time. I told her I was willing to do whatever to make her happy. Yesterday was nearly 6 months of no contact and I sent her a text saying I hope you've been doing well and I hope you're holiday was good. She responded, made some small talk, asked about my family, work, my apt....then just ended it with "glad to hear you are doing well. Keep in touch. Ttyl." I'd really like to talk to her face to face again maybe at lunch or something about everything I'm thinking, but at the same time I don't want to sound to pushy. How should I go about asking? Any ideas/thoughts on how to pursue this? Thanks a lot!
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (29 November 2015):
You are a great guy I am sure. Let her go. She doesn't like you (anymore). Usually when someone starts "acting weird" there might be someone else involved. But that is a huge assumption on my part. Sometimes, we don't get that closure. Sometimes girls do it, sometimes guys do it. I think she gave you false hopes to make you happy enough to actually give her space. Which is a mean trick to play on someone. DO you think you deserve that? No one does. So don't do her justice by loving her more when she doesn't deserve your love.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2015): What a horrible way for her to treat you! To tell you that she wanted you and then to just leave you hanging like that? And give you no closure six months later?!Try to feel angry about this. Think about what she has done and how she has done it. Consider doing this to someone else. Would you treat anyone else this way? I seriously doubt it. You sound like a lovely man. So sorry that this is happening to you. This is never nice, but at least you haven't seen her for a while, so it may make it easier for you to move on. Think of it like this. Imagine yourself shaking her off, like an old coat. Remember what it felt like to be happy and not waiting and wishing for someone who wasn't going to deliver. You will be happy again very soon I suspect and will meet a lovely lady who will not be able to wait to meet with you again and enjoy your company and love you. The sooner you get started, the sooner you'll meet her. Good luck. You deserve someone lovely.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2015): You sound like such a lovely guy. I can see what is happening. You are displaying your feelings too much. Its a bit like when women do this, its nice at first but then there is nothing for a man or a woman to chase. You have to wonder why nice guys have such problems with women.I bet if she was to see you dating someone else she would be over you like a rash. I know its not right to use someone for rebound but I feel you need to start dating and making new friends. You will find that this will take your mind of her. You will become more attractive to her as she will see other women like you.If you two are meant to be it will happen. don't waste your time. You stated that she still has feelings for you. I don't think feelings go away. Change your behaviour now. Become more selfish and love yourself more. Stop hurting yourself. Believe me I went through something similar with a guy. 15 years later we are nearly dating again. He did tell me how I was coming across and still had feelings for me all this time. It works both ways. Hopefully it wont be so long for you.Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (29 November 2015):
It sounds like she was unhappy in your relationship before going to visit her family, talked it over with them, and the decision was to split with you. She obviously has no interest in renewing your relationship and is moving on. It is time for you to do the same.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 November 2015):
 I'm sorry to report to you that she didn't know how to end things officially with your. She isn't interested in being with you and is not working toward a reconciliation.
I'm sorry you've been hanging on for this long for something that was not going to happen, but it is now time to come to terms with the fact that this relationship is over.
Get together with your friends and let them know she's out of your life for good and start the mourning process, however that works best for you.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2015): Six months is a long time with no contact. She probably does still care abt you but I don't think she's interested in a relationship anymore. Ttyl is a blow off. You hadn't talked in six months and she says ttyl. I would be pissed.
You shouldn't put your life on hold waiting for her.
I would call or text and say I haven't reached out because I was respecting your request for time. But I still care about you and want to know if you've sorted out your feelings. If she says no. Then move on. I would say I'm sorry that you're still unsure. I wish you all the best. Leave it at that and don't contact her again. How long does she expect you to wait for her? Life is too short. Take Care
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (28 November 2015):
 OP, I'm afraid anything more than what you're already doing is going to seem pushy to her. She hasn't reached out to you in six months, and only responds when you contact her. 'TTYL' is about as non committal as it gets under these circumstances.
This is not what you want to hear but I think it might be time for you to consider moving on.
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