A
male
age
,
*insterman58
writes:my partner and i have been together 2 and half years.she is seperated for 8 years i am single after a 30 yr relationship.we are both in our mid 50,s and have seperate homes 40 m apart.our life rogether has been wonderful upto 3 months ago.previos to that i wad living with my mother.my partner has made it clear that she will not remarry.our sex life was good.she told me how special i made her feel.we have never rowed.she works shifts at a hospital and has three demanding kids plus grandchildren andextending family.miteoist of our intimite time was spent at her home or the holidays we had.since i have my own home she appears to have backed off me although she says she loves me.the days we spend together have become further apart.she appeears to have days of manic activity,sleeps for 13 hours sometimes and then has sleepless nites.she works shifts.she eats loads one day and nothing the nxt.i recently confronted her about our lack of quality time together and she said she felt fat and bloated and not sexy.i dont know wether she is fed up of me but afraid to say so or is suffering from depression or something.its tearing me apart.please help me
View related questions:
depressed, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2015): Sounds like exhaustion and she has overextended herself in every direction. We all reach that point now and then.
The fluctuating eating habits don't help, and women tend to feel unattractive when they reach their late forties and into their fifties. It's pretty common. You may not have realized it, but you may have been a little laxed at offering her a hand in some of those activities she has been slaving over.
Keeping up with her demanding children (adults by now)? It's her fault if she allows them to run her ragged. If she babysits, she has to keep in-mind toddlers may require a higher level of energy to keep-up with than she may have on reserve nowadays. I'm sure she has a job on top of all of this?
Be understanding. Jump-in to lend a hand. Remind her daily you love her and she's beautiful. A 40 mile trek is a long ways to travel. It's 80 miles round-trip, or 20 if you're meaning round-trip is 40. She had probably hoped you'd move closer.
Well, she said she wasn't interested in getting married again, and perhaps you've been coming on a little too clingy, and not helpful enough. She may not ask you for help, but sometimes you need to volunteer to your time to help-out. She's got a lot on her plate.
Give her some breathing room, if she has backed-off. She is tired and carrying on so many things at the same time. When you're over 50. it gets to you. Be patient. You're a guy. You don't view the world the way women do; and you may not extend yourself emotionally as they do. It's not always physical-exhaustion; it's feeling emotionally drained!
Looking in the mirror and seeing how much age has caught-up with you. Surely, even as a guy, you can relate to that?!
Suggest she get a full physical. The doctor will let her know if she is over-doing it a bit. Don't take all the blame.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2015): What about perimenopause or menopause? Hormones can really mess with a woman at that time of life. Do you know if she is going through that?
...............................
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (28 November 2015):
I can understand that you would question your relationship and be concerned.But to be frank with you im amazed that she has time for herself or any relationship with her demands re- her children/grandchildren and work.She could be suffering from OVERLOAD.Would you consider having an indept gentle chat with her-you would be doing her a favour and sorting out things at the same time.From this overload that she is carrying she couls be depressed.Also it might be an idea to suggest to her to see her doctor for a check-up-maybe she needs a tonic since she is not eating well.Always make sure of a situation before you decide to do anything or make decision.Sheneeds help,understanding,love.Talk to her and tell her you feel.Best wishes.NORA B.
...............................
|
