A
male
age
26-29,
*ucid
writes:Hello, I need some good advice... I have broken my gf's trust (lets call her P). We broke up a couple of nights ago. Anyways, it all started at the beginning of our relationship. I didn't tell her about my ex (call her S); S and I had dated for about a year and a half and ended up breaking up because of the age difference as well as her family not liking me.. So P and I met at work. The first time I saw her I knew she was the one for me. We started talking, then I found out she was going away for college (not too far, about 2 hours).. We tried to make it work, and we did. Until she found out about S. She stopped talking to me and I decided to make the effort to drive up to a place to see her and talk things through. It was about 9pm when I got there. We talked things through, and had our first kiss. It was great. I came back home that morning, roughly 6am. So that was essentially the beginning of our relationship. We went pretty strong for quite sometime until S snapchatted me and made it to my snapchat "bffs".. P saw and got pretty upset with me, she had good reason to be. So I told her that I would block S from snapchat, so I did. She also asked me never to speak with S again, I agreed. So after that, our relationship really blossomed into something great. I even went on a cruise with her family over winter break.. It was about March when I had gotten a new job at a pizza place. I was a delivery boy. This job consisted of me delivering pizzas all day everyday for like 6 hour shifts... It was beyond depressing. Then a good friend of mine L started to talk to me about problems she was having in her love life. She was talking to me about her ex, and how she may have still been in love and things like that... That depressed me even further and I said to her, "maybe I still love S".... This was terrible... I spoke to S a couple of time about different things (on a friend level), her new boyfriend, prom, school, her family... This was the week before P's spring break. P's spring break came around and so she decided to come home and spend the week with me and her family. It was amazing. We spent pretty much all day everyday together. That's when I Knew that there wasn't even the most remote feeling for S anymore and P was all I ever wanted in a lover. She's brilliant, beautiful, has a great family... So a couple of months went by and she a thread of text messages from when I texted S.. She became so upset, she dumped me. I talked to her about it and we stayed up pretty much all night crying and talking - she eventually decided to give me a second chance. This was arguably the best moment of my life. Then she also asked me this, "is there anything at all that I should know? anything that might make me angry in the future that you have yet to tell me?"... I replied with "no." So two days later she came across the text messages from L... She read everything. The second chance... Gone. She asked me to leave and never come back... So I did, I left. It was about two hours later when her father texted me to tell me that I was still invited to dinner. So I came. She had no idea that they invited me back.. (awkward). After dinner, I went up to her room and we talked about everything from the beginning... After a long night, and I do mean Long... She decided to give me something of another change. She said, "I'm still breaking up with you, but I'm not going to shut you out completely, I am going to give you the chance to win me back.. Consider that your third chance." I was beyond happy that she even considered taking me back. I spend the night there, I slept on a different bed though. We woke up the next day and had to run some errands, then go to summer school. When we got to the school, we went our seperate ways... Then she texted me... It said, "I slept on it and realized I dont want to give you another chance. I dont want to wait for that. Sorry." This was like an elephant stomping on my chest... I didn't know what to do.. So I went up to her and told her, " I know you dont want to give me another chance, but I'm still gonna do everything I said I was going to do... I'm still going to try to win you back." What should I do? I love her more than anything in this world... I broke her trust and I have no idea how to earn it back.. Please if someone could help me out with this, it would be the best thing you could possibly do.. How can I earn it back? How can I win her back?
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (8 June 2015):
 Are you really sure you can handle a long distance relationship? Because it seems to me that you get bored, depressed and distracted and lose control over yourself. You're perfectly fine and happy as long as P is around you and when she's away from you, you start moping and looking for someone to fill the void.
You need to get S out of your life and never look back. Maybe you still have a weakness for her which starts reflecting in your actions and P has sensed it. Even though she wants to give you chance after chance, she's also very confused, hurt and angry at the same time. She's scared that you'll hurt her again, that everything's changed and that she cannot trust you. I dont really blame her; I'd feel the same way if I were in her place.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2015): I don't think she is maliciously doing so but she is messing you around a little here...
However, you hurt this girl, by the sound of it quiet badly, think how you would feel if it had been the other way round. She is confused right now because on one hand it is likely she still has feelings for you( or she wouldn't have given you so many chances) but on the other you have lied to her time and time again. You're only option now is to be 100% honest about everything and then give her some space to decide how she feels. But you may have to accept, at least for now, that its not going to work.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2015): She sounds like she is messing you about!
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