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I believe my best friend's boyfriend fancies me...what should I do about it?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 March 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I think my best friend's boyfriend fancy's me and I think I like him a little too. He always talks every opportunity to grab some part of me whether it be playfully hit or tickle or flirt a little for example today at lunch I felt someone's leg rest against mine, thinking it was my best friend I moved to playfully kick it, she noticed me move and said what are you doing 'I said sorry I was only joking' and then her boyfriend laughed and said 'you got mine by accident' then a few minutes later he moved back to previous position of his leg resting against mine and kept catching my eye.

Firstly I would NEVER do anything to jeopardise the friendship my friend and I have I love her to bits. I feel awful about these feelings but I'm a hormonal teenager, again I will never act on this. My question is do you think he likes me a little? Am I reading to much into this? Is there anything I should do? I really don't want to tell my friend in case it breaks them up or she hates me, I want her to be happy!

View related questions: best friend, flirt

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (21 March 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with iAmHereToHelpYou. You need to tell him to cut it out, IN PRIVATE.

If he doesn't, I would tell your FRIEND that you feel a little uncomfortable with him being so "handsy" around you.

It's quite the mindfuck game he has got going isn't it?

Whether he likes you or not is NOT the point.

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A female reader, laure France +, writes (21 March 2013):

laure agony auntYou're contradicting yourself.

You say you don't want to hurt her and that you love her big time and you can't risk ruining your friendship with her and yet you're asking do you think he likes me?!!!!

Why do you care in the first place if you're not considering taking him from her in the first place?!!

That's irrational!! And yeah so what if he likes you and you decided to be with, I’ll tell you what's going to happen, you’ll end up losing your best friend and him cheating on you and flirting with other girls, because he won't take you seriously, he’ll not see you as a trustworthy person, because you backstabbed your best friend for him!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2013):

"Firstly I would NEVER do anything to jeopardise the friendship my friend and I have I love her to bits."

Too late you already are. OP when you say you don't want to tell her that means all this is going on behind her back and you actually like him now too and what's your excuse? I'm just a precious, dainty hormonal teenager, I can't help it.

If that's how you treat those you love, I'd hate to see how you treat your enemies.

You're no friend to her, you're just a girl who is getting sexy with her boyfriend behind her back because you like him and hope he likes you too and you tell yourself it's okay because you're hormonal and you won't do anything. You already are crossing that line OP, otherwise why would you not tell your friend all this? If you're innocent then why not say something?

You want her to be happy? I suppose she'd be very happy with a cocktease best friend making the moves on her boyfriend and crossing those lines, but sure what she doesn't know eh OP? That makes everything okay to do.

OP feelings you can't help, I get that. But you've been going behind her back and getting very hot and heavy flirting with this guy. Is that what you consider a friendship, would you like it if she did that to you?

She's deserves a more loyal best friend, one she can trust to keep a physical distance from her boyfriends.

You're the worst in all this OP, he's a dog but you're supposed to be her best friend. Chicks before dicks OP, remember that. You're the one who is always supposed to have her back, not sneaking behind it with her boyfriend, he'll be gone soon because he's a dick, she'll get over that. But what you did will shake her faith in friends too. My advice would be to cut the innocent act, tell him to fuck off with the flirting and you stay away from him physically and you don't be alone with him OP. Cut the shit and start really "not acting on it".

Chicks before dicks OP, step back over that line into doing what's best for her and back the fuck off from him. Never get this close to a friend's boyfriend again.

Oh and before you think I'm being unduly harsh, trust me you need to hear it because if someone had warned me when I was in your situation I wouldn't have lost my childhood best friend for good. Sure it would be nice to blame his girlfriend but she was just a passing vagina, I was supposed to be his protector. Fix this now.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2013):

You like a guy who covertly flirts with his partner's friend while in her presence? Even if in a parallel universe, he were to end up with you, what do you think would stop him from repeating the same scenario with you as the clueless girlfriend? What is there to admire there? I think you like his attention, I don't think you like him.

If you do in fact love you're friend, ignore his flirtations and don't respond. It's as simple as that.

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