A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, I recently posted a problem about how the internet conversations with this boy I met briefly were getting a little serious, and how I was confused being only 15 and getting myself into a silly situation without realizing it. Anyway I told him I wasn't sure what I wanted and I was too young to decide anything because I am too young to sign my life away. It didn't go great because I was being too soft because stupid me is getting all upset because I tricked myself into thinking he was 'the one' or whatever. I know it sounds so ridiculous, that's because it is.Anyway I am gonna force myself to be brutally honest with him if I need to be and I need to man up and stop being so pathetic. I don't know what I am asking for here, I think I answered my own question to 'what should I do now' the thing is before I met him, I was so strong and focused on what I wanted, which was my education, and now I find myself thinking of him which to me is not acceptable. I am 15 and want to be independent before anyone comes into my life in that way. I know this issue probably reads out to be a little confusing, I am just letting it flow from my thoughts, I guess I am just after some reassurance. The facts are I am only 15, shouldn't have told him things I did that weren't true anyway, and shouldn't have tried to cover up what I was really telling him, which was how I need to forget about him as the whole 'thing' with me and him was a senseless 15 year old girl being too naive and curious to see where things could go because no one gave me the attention he did. I can't tell you how much it helps just writing this down, so please if someone older can read this and just reassure me. The scary thing for me was I was so focused on my life, what I wanted, I thought about my future, I know it sounds selfish but if I let a boy dictate what I wanted, it just woudn't be right. I did things for me to make me happy - I was never mean to anyone - I mean things like doing my hair, buying nice clothes, putting on makeup - I did it all for me and recently I was thinking differently and I don't want to. So forgetting him is the best thing I can do, do you agree.Any comments, advice and reassurance is much appreciated. Thank you for reading another essay of mine.
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male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (9 June 2011):
This is great experience for you. Notice how you were confused about something, so you started to write it down just putting your thoughts on paper, and eventually how you feel about the problem becomes clearer? Sometimes writing helps, sometimes talking to someone about it, sometimes just taking enough time to think about it, but eventually if you do something like that to make the problem clearer, the right answer for you will come out. Once it does, follow it. This is the right answer for you, trusting yourself and your intuition is the best way to ensure you are making the right decisions for yourself at the right time. It is good to get reassurances from others, especially people with experience in areas that you don't have experience, but more important than their reassurance is that you can trust your own feelings and intuition.
You are also smart to use your intelligence to decide the best actions for you, and that you recognise the importance of your education, and following your own directions rather than letting a boy dictate what you want. You should always dictate what you want, if a boy likes you he will want to support you in helping you do what you want in life, the same way that you would support him in helping him to do what he wants in life.
Having said all of that, relationships are an important part of life too. You might not yet be ready for the kind of relationship you are heading for with this boy, and that might be why you are hesitant. If you don't feel ready, it is good that you put it off until you are. However, if you are ready, and you just feel like you have to choose between your relationship with him and your education, I would ask, can't you have both? Is there not a way you could put some of your energies into a relationship, and some into your education. You don't say if there is a specific reason why pursuing things with this boy would be so bad for your future.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 You are 15! You ar allowed to be a little impulsive, a little passionate to, maybe :) Gtting gaught up in the moment. Don't beat yourself up.
Honey, just be honest with the dude, if he gets mad, sad and uspet, that is fair enough, but honesty IS the best policy.
If you have an idea of what you want for yourself, then by all means go for it. If it's to focus on your education and not on a BF, then more power to you.
There will be plenty of times for boyfriends. Trust me.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (8 June 2011):
 You sound like a really wise girl not to do something you know you are not ready for! Well done.
Pat yourself on the back and do not give your future away. Your future is for YOU first and THEN you invite someone worthy into it later!
Best Wishes
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