| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: 11 months ago my boyfriend left me for a girl he was cheating with and the entire time I begged him to give us another shot. So now he's back ready to be serious and I agreed to have sex with him today and now I feel guilty. Because when we was doing it I felt sorry for this guy that likes me at my job that's been hanging out with me for like the last year. How do I tell my again boyfriend that he doesn't do anything for me anymore but we can be friends. The guy at my job is my best friend.
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): How about you try and repulse him, try and make him break up with you first? It may work...
Good luck
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 Don't be friends with him. Your ex boyfriend sounds like nothing but trouble, and will surely be a pain in your ass if you let him stay around you. Break it off and DONT BE FRIENDS!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): How do you tell him, just tell him plainly and sensitively that you do not have the same feelings as you once had for him. Regardless how you faff around with this, sit on the sidelines, there is no way you can't make words of ' not into you any more' to present themselves gift wrapped.
Life is FULL of ups and downs, and anyone not wanting to experience any, had better lock themselves away and not take part in life or dating anyone.
It often happens that IF a relationship is interrupted of going through it's normal process, as yours was, in this case, your ex was cheating, but even if couples just break up because they don't feel it's the right time or whatever, can have a feeling of unfinished business, closure if you like, and if they do get back together, especially after a long gap, 12 months or so, what they they thought they felt, and would still be there, is NOT. As in your case. These situations we often realize that we had moved ON more than we thought by attempting to pick up where we left off with our ex.
This is what has happened to you. You cannot under any circumstances ' string ' either guy along, hanging on to one whilst you make out with the other, not only isn't it the right thing to do, it lacks honesty and integrity, in addition it would also make you no different to your ex-boyfriend who cheated on you. All relationships need 100% input!
Ok it may not be the easiest of situations, but we have to do a lot of things in life that are not easy, you can't sweep them under the carpet, every time you feel uncomfortable or afraid of hurting some one. It is the WAY in which you do it. As ultimately NO one wants to be part of a relationship that isn't felt 100%, or their partner is wishing they were with another person, that is far more hurtful than being truthful with sensitivity.
Just think back to your situation, wouldn't it have been better for you, for your boyfriend to have broken up with you first before dating this other girl, where he was honest and acted in a way that you could at least respect.
I'm afraid it's the only way forward, to tell him. Don't hang it out, just tell him, and that way, after the dust has settled I'm sure if you do this warmly with sensitivity, you will end up good friends.
Jilly
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): Make up your mind who you want and what you want to do.
If you don't want to be with your boyfriend anymore just tell him you made a mistake, you were confused but you don't think that you'll be able to continue in a relationship with him.
That's it. No need to feel guilty or make a big deal about it. You thought that's what you wanted and now realize it isn't, so just tell him that and be done with it.
The guy cheated on you and left you and now you're even, doe and dusted all you need to do is tell him.
...............................
|
