A
male
age
30-35,
*lexG101
writes: Hi my name is Alex. Well I've had my relationship with my wife for a year now. I realized that I've had changed to a man that she didn't want to be with anymore. I became my dad. I became controlling, and lazy and became disrespectful to her. I wasnt keeping up with my responsibilites as a dad. She hold all the BS I did until she blew up and left me. I told her a long time ago, if anything was wrong just tell me, but she didnt. All she said was,"im fine honey". It was about 4 or 5 days ago I've been seperated from her. The only person I was able to see is my daughter, while she went off to work, and I will leave before she came back b/c she didnt want to see me. She also has changed. Before she never drank. Like alcohol drinks. When I met her she never drank. She was the sweetest person. She had a great personality. That was the person I wanted to be with but now, I dont want to be with her. I found out today she drinks more on the weekends. Ever since she has started to drink. I found out that she has been drinking. And now she told me that she takes shots to the point that she gets buzzed. That wasn't the Heather I went out dating. That wasnt her when we met in school. She drinks b/c of my fault. Im trying to fix by regaining her trust by taking of our daughter like a father suppose to be. But I cant and will not stay with a woman who will drink to the point she gets buzzed. That isnt my soulmate anymore. I told her that she changed and I want the heather from school back. The one I became friends with. The one who I fell in love with. But now she isnt. I want to get her back. Im trying my best to fix things. I will be there for my daughter but if my wife keeps getting buzzed then I can stay with her. What can I do? Can anyone help? I never wanted my relationship to end like this. Please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): You basically wrote that for a long time you were, in many different ways, not acting like HER soulmate, and treating her like garbage. Those things you did, you did to HER.You have not yet even come close to making amends for that, or deserving new trust or a real second chance. But here you are complaining that she is DRINKING? Her getting buzzed has nothing to do with YOU except you don't like it, which is much different from YOU treating her like garbage.If you really wanted this marriage to work, you would focus on your behavior, and only yours, because you are the one that created the situation at hand.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): Even though you say you want to change, your here reprimanding her cor her drinking. Sorry but I have to say you do sound controlling. Is she an adult? Assuming she is nit an alcoholic ( and there is nothing in your post to suggest she is) then she has every right to de IDE what she wants to drink.
You say you want her back and in the same breath put conditions on it. Perhaps talk to someone you can trust or even a consellor to wotrk on this. Best wishes
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): that sounds sad. for your wife. i would suggest you leave her alone.
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