A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I look very sweet, lovely and innocent and so I tend to attract guys who are looking for those qualities, especially because I'm quite shy with people I've just met. The thing is, I'm actually nothing like that - I'm really wild, free and sexual. So the guys I do date end up disappointed when they get to know me or I get disappointed because we have differing sex drives. So my question is twofold - how can I attract guys who are more sexually compatible with me and not looking for innocent girlyness? And is there any way to tell if a guy is adventurous, particularly sexually, early on in the get-to-know-you process?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): Thanks guys! Kurtyz - I think I gave you the wrong idea. I'm not looking for one night stands, sex was just an example. As another, there's my taste in music - I attract guys who think I should listen to Taylor Swift or something, whereas I'm more into system of a down and radiohead and that disappoints them because they think I'm sweet and girly when they meet me. I guess I just want someone who will accept me, not judge me and be open to trying new things with me. It's not that I turn down the nice guys, it's that things always go bad in my relationships because the guys expect me to be something I'm not. So I want to attract guys who are more likely to accept me, whoever they might be.
A
male
reader, Your friend +, writes (21 July 2009):
 Wear more provocative clothes, nothing over the top but a shorter shirt, lower top with push up boobs and brighter colours, shoes are important as they say a lot about the person wearing them eg a high heel, bright colour that slightly clashes with what you are wearing so they stand out. Act a little cheeky and look directly into his eyes when you do it. Your eyes and face are your main strengths and what he will be looking at most so make up and lip stick should not be over done as that can look more cheap then classy but include some distinctive feature that he can't help looking at that is not common.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): "Sweet, lovely, and innocent" has a lot to do with your sense of style and how you carry yourself. These are things you have control over. I think maybe you oughtta consider throwing a dash of extra promiscuity into your appearance and see what happens.
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A
male
reader, kurtyz  +, writes (21 July 2009):
 excuse me? listen are you even giving these innocent guys chance because by the way u wrote it, it seems that you only trying to look for a guy who likes sex just so you can have sex but these innocent guys could be really nice but shy and you never know that they could be great people that you are turning down! so don't just go looking for a guy who will have sex with you but go looking for the nice guys not the type that do it with you then run off!!
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