A
female
age
41-50,
*edfield
writes:im engaged and me and my boyfriend are finally getting a house, well his ex, the mother of his child for some reason i think she is trying to come back into his life in that certain way, problem is i dont know how he really feels, he recently quit smokin and he said it was to save money for the house, well i just came to realize she quit the same time and she started again and he had such a look of disgust when he saw her, the thing is i feel like if he did it for his little girl why did he lie to me why hide so i wrote that in an email and now hes really mad
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female
reader, redfield +, writes (19 April 2007):
redfield is verified as being by the original poster of the questionredfield here replying back about the quit smoking for his daughter, let me put it better he didint quit for his little girl, i wish that is what he told me, you guys misunderstood, right now im in competition it seems like, cause right now i dont know if deep down inside he still loves her, he trash talks her but does whatever she does if she got a new job he would get a new job understand now
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (18 April 2007):
 He told you that he quit smoking to save money for a house, but now you think he quit smoking because it is healthier for his little girl and you are mad that this is somehow deceptive? Get a grip! Both reasons may have been contributing factors in why he quit and both are very good reasons. The point is he quit! This will 1. give him more money in his pocket and 2. make him healthier for himself, you AND his little girl! He was disgusted that his ex started smoking again. This is a good thing. Did you want him to feel proud of her? Unless there is something I am missing her, I think you need to apologize.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Would you clarify? Did he start again? What was he hiding? I don't think you should compare what he does for his little girl,with you. You are not his other little girl, you are an adult who is likely, hopefully, to support him in his efforts to stop smoking. I would not have though you would use the smoking issue as a way of bringing in competition about who he loves the most - you or his little girl? There are different types of love and the love for children is protective, wheras with adults it is more supportive. You seem a bit untrusting of his ex, but I see no reason why you should be. He is engaged to you and buying a house with you. Are you able to handle adult relationships or are you trying to be his little girl? He won't find that very sexy!
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