A
female
age
36-40,
*nlucky13
writes:About a year and a half ago I got out of a marriage that lasted less than a year with a guy I was with for 5 years beforehand. Just after a few months of single status I was at the club with a friend when I ran into this guy that I used to go to high school with who graduated a few years before me and I had the biggest crush on him as did most of the girls at my school. After my friend and I spent the whole night talking with he and his friend I learned he lived about an hour away and only came up on the weekends to see his family and friends. I thought this was a perfect way to have fun without getting too serious. The next couple of weekends we would meet out at the club and by the third or fourth, he starting coming home with me from the club and spending the night with me. Then before I knew it he was staying with me Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and without realizing what I was doing, I found myself dropping everything for this guys and making him the center of my attention. Over the holidays we spent a whole lot of time together. And around valentine's day I told him I was absolutely in love with him. He told me he loved me, but he wasn't in love with me. So acting as if that didn't just happen, and ignoring the fact that he wasn't into the relationship like I was I kept on though...falling more, and more, and more in love with him. Every tuesday I would drive down to see him and every weekend he would hang out with his buddies and then stay with me each night. Until about 2 months ago...we had a big fight. I asked him what we were and of course I wasn't surprised when he said friends with benefits. I tried to act like I didn't care and it was fine but of course my actions spoke louder than my words and with that he began to stand me up more and more and see me less and less. He hasn't called or texted in 2 weeks and I'm sooooo heartbroken. What do you do when you don't know if you should follow your heart or listen to your head?
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crush, friend with benefits, hasn't called, heartbroken, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008): So why you sleeping with him? If you want more from a relationship, hold out a little longer. Youve sold yourself to cheap.
Good luck
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 September 2008):
 I'd listen to my head on this one. If you allow your heart to rule the roost I'm afraid you'll just end up even more heartbroken. Don't waste anymore of your time on this guy. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Good luck, I'm sure the right guy is waiting around the corner.
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A
female
reader, lil_miss_horror  +, writes (3 September 2008):
if he does not want to be more than 'friends with benefits' then he probably does not deserve you anyway. You could try discussing with him if he would like to take the friendship further to see whether he has thought about it being more than what it is now and if he does not I would suggest going and finding someone who is worthy of you.
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