A
female
age
36-40,
*ortugamore84
writes:Ok...there's this guy at work whom I really like; I like him more than just wanting to have sex with him-just had to put that out there. Anyways, for a couple months, there's been alot of back and forth flirting, so a few weeks ago, I got bold and asked him out! Mind you, I've never done something like ask a guy out before! He said yeah, but we never made set plans. He just said we'll do something. But still, weeks later, no plans! I even told him that I rescind the question and he told me don't do that.Should I have waited to let him ask me out? Does he even like me romantically? Does he just like he attention? I'm so confused!
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female
reader, Tortugamore84 +, writes (10 February 2015):
Tortugamore84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, thanks for all the comments, but in the end, he just wants to hook up. Not upset about it. It is what it is.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 February 2015):
 Sounds to me like he's just a good work buddy and is not interested in progressing any farther than flirtations at work.
He knows your interested... let it go and don't wait for him to ask... just know that some folks just like the whole flirtation thing.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 February 2015):
 Oh, a flirt will be a flirt whether he/she is single or not.
I wouldn't hold my breath for this guy honestly, to me his hesitation says (to me at least) I'm NOT that keen, but I like flirting so I'll play along.
Another little "kink" is that he is a co-worker which can make things "complicated" or awkward if things don't work out. Which is why office romance should... be avoided. Flirting can be OK, as long as both people know and understand it's just flirty banter.
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A
female
reader, Tortugamore84 +, writes (7 February 2015):
Tortugamore84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I did ask him what we would be doing. I couldn't get a straight answer out of him, just a 'we'll do something." The thought did cross my mind that maybe he's seeing someone. He's just always so flirtatious with me that I didn't think he may be seeing someone. I think maybe I'm just wasting my time & will move around...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2015): Did you you say something along the lines of, "Let's go out sometime?" Is that why you two do not have set plans? And then at this point you are kind of waiting for him to come up with the plans? I mean you did the asking out, not the other way around, so I guess technically you should've had a plan. And not wait for him to come up with one and jump to his feet and take you out just because you said you wanted to go out with him sometime.I suppose you could've been more specific such as, "I have an extra ticket to this concert, would you like to join me?" Or, "my friend is having a party on Saturday, would you like to come?" I don't think you needed to tell him you'd "rescind the question" when you guys have had no plans to begin with. You asked him out "sometime" and then left it open ended for him to do something about. That's putting him in an awkward spot. I think when you ask someone out you should be specific. "I'm making a picnic and going to see Shakespeare in the park, care to join me?" I guess you could give it one more shot. But be specific when you ask him out, don't leave it open ended, expecting him to finish what you started. Would you like to join me on such and such day for such and such thing/event. Hopefully he says yes. If he can't or takes a raincheck then the ball is in his court.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 February 2015):
You asked him "halfway out". You told him you WANT to go out with him, but YOU didn't really ASK him out, as you seem to be waiting on HIM to make that move.
Find something you'd like to DO with him (and no, not sex lol) and ask him to join you. Be it trying out a new restaurant, a play, a movie, new exhibit at the zoo or museum - maybe something you have talked about? Like a movie? then after go out for a bite?
Just make sure you don't say hey let's do this tonight, give him a little advance knowledge so he can "fit" it in with his other plans.
Now If he can't make it that night (that you plan for) I'd NOT ask him again. I'd let him make the next move.
Are you 100% sure he is single btw?
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