A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so here is my problem... so was in a realationship for 7 months... i actually had real feelings for this guy... we stopped talkin on my birthday in nov.. cause i heard that he was gay.. when i asked him about he told me he wasnt gay and that i shouldnt listen to what other people say which i know that i just didnt know what else to do because i was so shocked.... then he laughed it off and walked away... i really dont know what i should do.. i feel like i want and need closure i need the truth.. but he want talk to me.. if i text him he'll text me back but thats about it he want even hold a conversation with me.. why? could be that he feels ashamed or it is beacuse he feels that i hurt him.. im not even sure if we are broken up.. i know people say well why would you want to be with someone who is gay.. see thats the thing i dont know and deep down i dont believe it at all... i want to talk to him but dont know how.. i feel like if i keep texting he him he will think im a stalker and i definitley dont eant that... i feel hurt i think about him all the time.. i just want anwsers but i dont know how to get them if he want talk to me.. should i just wait it out and see what happens.. or should i just keep texting him to try and find out.. and i also want to know does he still want to be with me or is he through.. cause we didnt offically breakup he just walked away from me.. am i wrong for still wanting to be with him even though he is supposlly (GAY)? i really need help...
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): i think you should just stay with him and work it out tell him your sorry for accusing him. (many guys are called gay for many reasons) that doesnt mean they actually are just apologize and say sorry and that you still want to be with him if he still anal about it he might be trying to hide something from you. but i cant tell you how many guys would be pleased if they were called gay ( its degrading) so thats just why he might not be texting you, try to work it out tell him your sorry.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni really do not think it was wrong of me to ask him.. i just didnt know what to do cause when i heard that he was gay or might be i just freaked out.. i was shocked i was hurt and confused... thanks to all who gave me positive advice.. i really appreciate it ...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2009): It sounds like its over. yes, you have hurt his feelings and you have insulted him. his sexuality is obviously a sensitive issue. but.. i agree with emily, ask him straight out once more why he isnt talking to you,text him one more time, if he ignores you or doesnt give u an answer then move on, forget him and dont contact him again,dont be a stalker! he does have issues whatever they are, but you deserve an answer.
yes he might be gay, but he also might have stopped talking to you for other reasons, maybe he is cheating on you, maybe you have done something to upset him and yes maybe hes gay.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): I beleive the last post was quite over kill, but it had some truth to it. The #1 rule is to never question you partners sexual orientation. I beleive you should just go up to him and appologize. You did obviously insult him, but that can be solved by talking.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): WOW, you were DATING a guy and you ask THAT? Could you actually HEAR his soul shatter? Do you actually think about the stuff that comes out of your mouth, or does it work on it's own, and you hear the words at the same time more considerate people do?
You need to make amends for this- for his sake. You broke a serious rule, you've left a human being in worse shape than when you met him- you have to make this right for his sake.
You need to LEARN from this, and NEVER ask this again.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 December 2009):
 maybe you hurt his feelings because, even though you were in a relationship with him, you thought he might be gay.
For a straight guy, especially a young one, to be asked by his g'f if he was gay would be a bit of an insult, as in he may be having problems accepting the fact you even had to ask!
I think you have done your dash here, but just text him one more time, tell him you are sorry if your thoughtless questions have upset him, that you still like him and would like to be able to apologise to him face to face
If he doesnt respond he isnt interested
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (22 December 2009):
Just text him and ask him if things are over and if he has any intention of talking to you again.
Just ask him straight out.
If not then assume it's over and that he's got problems.
Good Luck!! xx
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