A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I became friends with this girl I liked at work and also on social media right away. We get on well with each other and she always finds the time to talk to me. The only problem I have is. That I worry I say the wrong things to her and can't remember what I say and sometimes I'll tell her how my day at work went and it will come out wrong or not that I intended on social media.What can I do about this and not repeat the same mistake? I asked about meeting up, but she's got cold feet on the matter.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2016):
Just to hang out as friends that was all, I couldn't remember what I said to her as ive not a good memory and that's why I was asking the question. Sorry if I didn't explain that well in my post. I'm not seeking a romance with her and she has replied to my messages on social media, I suggested meeting up as we got on well, but she hasn't given me an answer on it and don't want to push her on the subject. I've treaded carefully with her and tried not to come across as needy, as I know women don't like that side to a man.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2016): May I add and additional thought.
I think you like her, and you're flirting and making subtle passes. This may be what's turning her off. If you forget what you're saying, are you under the influence of a substance at the time? Alcohol or drugs? Are you nervously babbling? That's a dead giveaway you want to be more than friends. She's keeping it in the right place. Meeting-up outside of work is taking it to a different level. Maybe she just doesn't want go there or send you the wrong signals.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2016): I suspect she prefers to keep you in the friend-zone, and she is, after-all, a co-worker. She maintains contact over social media, but isn't that how you basically keep things less than intimate?
What you share over social media is either in groups or publicly. Usually with "friends" or family. Yes, there are one on one messages; but usually if you happen to catch someone "active." If you reach out to them, they're almost obligated to respond. Even if only to be polite. Or just to be friendly.
I don't think it's cold-feet. I don't think she's that into you.
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (24 May 2016):
 Hi,
it may be a number of things, but we can never be 100% certain, as only she knows what she is feeling.
She may be uninterested in you, although you are interested in her, hence her suddenly going cold.
She may like you, but she is unable to tell you, as she feels shy, or she may simply be in a form of shock/suprise, hence her quiteness.
The facts remain.
You cannot make her like you, nor can you force anything upon her and if she isn't interested in you, i am sure you'll find out in due time and you can move on with your life.
Equally, if she too, likes you and accepts your request to meet up, then she will eventually let you know.
How long it will take, that's anybodys guess really. I imagine that if she doesn't reply within 2 to 3 wks, chances are that she isn't interested in meeting with you.
All the best and let us know how you get on. :-)
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 May 2016):
 You liker her, so you befriended her, great. It does not automatically mean she knows that you like her or even that she automatically likes you. You need to try and work your magic and show her that you care. If she is not interested hopefully she will tell you and at least then you can move on.
It is great that you both get on well and that she makes the effort to talk to you, but I am wondering why you are worried about saying the wrong thing? What is causing you to forget what you have said to her? Do you lie to her? Sometimes talking on Social media comes across wrong, therefore maybe talk more to her at work and less over text, face to face is always the best way to go.
You asked her to meet up but you don't mention what she has said that makes you feel she has gone cold feet. Has she a partner? Maybe she doesn't like you that way, a little more information here will help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2016): You can't remember what you say meaning you don't remember if you told her you were getting your tires rotated (or something benign like that)? Or do you mean you tried to tell a funny work story and couldn't keep it straight? It comes out wrong online but not in person? Did she say she was offended at something?
I am agreeing anyway that she just considered you work friends and doesn't want to go past that.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 May 2016):
 Does she perhaps have a BF? OR maybe her going "cold" is more her trying to not take it further than a work-friend thing.
And if you say thing and later on can't remember, then maybe... you need to always stick to the truth? At least with the truth you can't go wrong.
Keep things light. Don't drag people from work online, that can come back to bite you in the rear later on.
Even from your post I'm sort wondering what it is you are hoping for. Do you want to take her out on a date? Hang out as friends? What?
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