A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have just come back from visiting my ex-girlfriend. We broke up around last november because she had to concentrate on school, but we have managed to stay friends. She had just graduated and I went to visit her at her home town because she was about to start a new job and in a way, I wanted to support her. We ended up talking a lot, which was really expected. But What I didnt expect was that I would have a rush of emotions as soon as I saw her. I missed her a lot, and my heart was beating hard. For a few minutes, i was even struggling with the thought of whether to leave things be, or try to get back together with her. Rght before we parted, I told her that I wanted to be with her again. I didnt ask her to take me back, but asked if I could have the chance to win her back... She never gave me a clear answer. Just an "i don't know." What should I do from here? I don't want to push her.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 June 2012):
 If she wanted to be with you as a boyfriend she would be.
Personally, I don't see how staying friends with an ex is a good thing... Civil yes, friendly when you bump into each other, but actually FRIENDS... never works... if you were supposed to be together you would be.
staying friends means ONE of you is trying to hang on..
if you want to get back together with her then do so. if she says NO then accept it and move on and don't try to be friends... that just prolongs the pain.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (4 June 2012):
 Well Anonymous guy, I've been there. Fortunately for me my ex girlfriend was more willing to give me the whole story. Your ex is either trying to spare your feelings or is making the modern mistake of trying to keep an attachment to you. Either way the signs are obvious to those of us who are not emotionally involved.
She has moved on, She isn't interested in you any more, there may be another man.
When she told you she needed to concentrate on her studies, she was brushing you off. When she said she doesn't know, she means she doesn't know how to tell you no without hurting you.
You would be able to move on yourself had she told you this herself. Even if I am wrong, she needs to make her feelings clear to you.
As to what you should do. You should either ask her out on a real date, or assume the worst and let her go. You seem inclined to not be pushy. So letting her go seems to be right for you.
FA
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