A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am wondering why being rejected affects me so much. I have lots of good things going on in my life, yet when I feel like a guy is rejecting me, it takes me such a long time to get over it.For example, had a first date a few days ago (from online dating) and I liked him but i guess he wasnt interested in a 2nd date. And I am still not over it! My friends tell me that I cant be liked by everyone, which is true, but why is it that someone dont care and just bounce back right away whereas I just get depressed and start feeling insecure about myself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): Learn to love yourself, then you will approach dating differently. You will wonder, am I going to like this guy, does he have the qualities I am worthy of, am I interested in dating him,etc....this is much different than going to meet someone and wondering if he is going to like you or if you are attractive to him. Guys can feel the difference and will want to prove themselves to you.
A
female
reader, RosyCheeks87 +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Sweety, you may be suffering from a problem known as codependency!It is very common amongst today's society but most people are unaware that they suffer from this psychological/emotional form of bondage; unfortunately women tend to show this dependency by concentratiting on what others may think of them particularly their significant others. People with this problem are usually fixated on gaining approval from others, their self-esteem relies on this approval, attention gives them this emotional-egotisitcal high. Maby you need to construct your character and self esteem first before getting into any relationship. You must learn to give love to yourself before you go searching for some else to do it for you.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Rejection affects everyone; some of us are just better at hiding it, or it's happened so often we're inured to it (mostly).
There's nothing unusual about this. Nothing to do but grin, bear it, and accept it as the price of dating.
If it makes you feel better, a guy who doesn't want a second date at least respects you, even if he rejects you - he believes you're at least a decent person. *Real* rejection from a guy is where he screws you and leaves. Simply refusing a second date means he doesn't want to hurt you. Frame it that way, and it's not so bad.
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Maybe you should take a break from dating for a while and try to boost your self confidence a lot. Then, you can try to get back in the dating game, and it won't hurt so bad if it doesn't work out.
Another idea is to not get too attached right away. Just keep your emotions in check, keep a few steps back, and see what develops, rather than letting your mind rush into fairy tales and getting hurt. Guys can pick up on that kind of thing.
The last thing is sometimes, it's really not personal. Maybe there just isn't chemistry to them. It's nothing at all against you, it's just something that is either there or it isn't. Even if youre the most beautiful woman in the world, you won't have chemistry with every man.
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