A
female
age
30-35,
*akeisha
writes:i recently posted the question: Why do men stop trying once the relationship is no longer brand new? i got a few replies and one of them stated that this works both ways meaning women can also stop putting in the effort after being in a relationship for a while. my man knows that i am trying to spice things in our relationship, but i want to do more. i want to literally WOW this man.i'll do anything i can so that i can feel desirable to him and so i ask...what are some things that i can do [inside of our home because we have small children] that will "re-break" the ice?i want to read some examples of some things your significant other does for you that make you feel special...it will give some ideas for getting my relationship back on track. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): because sometimes, girls go for the bad boys and if your bf has been kicked to the curb a few times, he may believe that being a nice guy may be equated to a weak and needy guy and have the proverbial sand kicked in your face when your girl walks off with someone else.
I was like that when younger. Time changes me for the better but at 18, what did I know.
A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (14 August 2010):
 I'm sorry, I don't really have certain ideas for things inside the home that can get your relationship back on track.
I guess the main thing is that you want to be friends first and cultivate that friendship by doing things you enjoy together and not always talking about the kids, or daily problems.
Part of me wonders if this isn't just an issue of your being pretty young and a female. Many people in your age group are addicted to the romance, they believe that unless the relationship is intense all of the time and romanitc like we see in the movies, then the love is gone on the part of the man.
Realize that once you get out of the honeymoon stage, your intense feelings are going to be replaced with more stable comfortable attachment feelings, and a man is going to relax and be himself and not "work at it" to get you, he already has you. Don't equate this with him not caring or loving you...because you can push him away with your dissappointment in his changed, relaxed state.
Unless he is ignoring you and taking you for granted, you probably don't want to fix what isn't broken...Just enjoy your healthy, stable relationship and ask for what you want from him in specific behavioral terms that he can understand so that it doesn't come accross as criticism and complaints.
That's pretty much all I got.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): I have a good answer - be spontaneous !! Stop planning in what can be a daily routine and do something romantic .
A picnic near a beach , cooking a dinner for two ( on what you ate on your first dates ) , a walk on a cold day in the forest , saying something good and positive about your partner . Also watching your partners kind of movie even if you don't like it !
Also a new hobby .....something fun rockclimbing , cycling ......have fun !
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (14 August 2010):
 Dress up nicely, do your hair and makeup even when you don't plan to go out, cook him something nice. Once he gets over the intial suspicion that you're just buttering him up for something, he should start reciprocating.
Be sure that the two of you are having lots of sex. If the kids are an issue, get up earlier or go to sleep later - or just tell them that mommy and daddy need some alone time for an hour.
If you have friends with kids, try to arrange a couple of nights per week where you take each other's children and let the other couple go out, and trade off duty.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): Not that I have personal experience in this, but to acieve the "wow" effect, how about taking care of yourself? Your man fell in love with a facinating woman Im sure, so bring her back. Be a bit selfish and dress up, do your hair, and go out with friends, and be a little out of reach? Perhaps that could be one thing for you to do. Live a little for yourself and grow as a person, and maybe he will be reminded of who you really are. It is quick to be lost in the "we" and "us" and "couple" terms, and loose the part where you are you and you alone.
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