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writes:I'm not happy in my marriage. What should I do? We have been married for 17 years and for the past 6 1/2 years I have been working 2 full time jobs. Prior to that I had worked a full time and a part time job. Our son just turned 16 and my stepdaughter is getting ready to turn 23. She has not worked or gone to college since graduating from high school. I told my wife before we got married that I would not kick her out after she got out of high school because that is what happened to her with her parents. About 6 years ago my wife and I stopped having sex because she believes that someone is watching her evey move and reading her thoughts. I started looking at porn on the internet. About 1 1/2 years ago my wife found a picture that I printed out and I forgot it and left it in the bathroom. She got real upset about this because she said it resembled our daughter. Since this time my wife and kids don't trust me. I my wife is going to go to the store or pick out a movie or get something to eat, they all go as one.I'm tired of working 80 hours a week while my wife and daughter stay at home to keep it organized. My wife will not get a job because she believes someone will try to ruin it for her.Should I stay or should I go?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): Well, I have been married for just over 3 years...I am 24 years old. My husband and I have been together since I was 16...We have a 14 month old daughter as well. Lately I have not been happy, I love him, but not sure if I am IN love anymore...I don't get excited to see him like I used too, I don't want to be intimate...but when I told him maybe we needed a break or something, he freaked out, cried, etc...I just feel stuck cuz I don't want to hurt him, but either way I feel like I am, cuz I am not happy so he is not happy....What do i Do?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): I feel sorry for you in this situation, sorry to say, it almost makes me feel better about mine! I put a question on here as well. Anyways, I think that yes, I would have to leave, of she didn't try to do anything to improve the relationship and get a job, just as much as the daughter is old enough to also work. No more sex?? Yikes, my hubby always tells me, if we never had sex again, he'd have to leave and well, I would have to agree with him. You need to take care of yourself for a change and maybe take a break from this situation if you have somewhere to go for a little bit to think.. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): Hi,I know that you love your wife a whole lot that's why you are still there but this is so unfair to you.About the porn stuff, what did she expect, she would not have sex with you, and it's not like you went with another woman, you are a man and you have needs, I feel so bad for you.
It sounds to me like she has a physcological problem here. She thinks someone is watching her every move and are in her thoughts !!!! both of you need to talk to someone about this part of the problem,maybe this is the root cause of all your problems,I am not saying that your wife is crazy, it may not be something major but she needs professional help concering this.
You sound to me like a good guy, a normal guy that just wants a normal life. Talk to her, listen to her and then ask her to listen to you inturn.Tell her that you are a man that you have needs and you cannot go on living a life with someone who would not make at least a little effort to make your lives better. You sound like a good guy, you don not deserver this, tell her to buck-up or else. Good luck and hope that I have been some help to you.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (14 April 2007):
 Let's see. No sex, 80 hour work week, daughter won't get a job, wife is paranoid, no trust.
And you're still there because...? You LIKE getting kicked in the head? You're so used to being used that you don't know any other way of life? You're secretly hoping thaty someone will wave a magic wand and make it all better?
Come on, man. This is a bad situation and it's never going to improve until you start acting like a man. In your position, I'd at the VERY least demand that my wife start acting like a wife (regular sex and some appreciation for what she gets from me) and that my step-daughter pull her own weight in the household. But my recommendation would be that you think about bailing.
See a lawyer. And you probably don't want to be working two jobs, because you don't want the court to base your ability to support your family on the assumption that you're always going to be working yourself to death. But talk that over with your lawyer.
Get the respect you deserve or get the heck out.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (14 April 2007):
 To be honest mate, i would of gone. But that is me.
It sounds like a very unhealthy relationship and an even unhealthier family. Was there always a visible seperation between you and the step-daughter and wife?
Have they always taken sides like this.
You dont seem unreasonable at all. If they cant respect how much work you do to keep the family afloat then they seem greedy and selfish.
There is nothing wrong with looking at porn, but there is something wrong with your wife sharing this with your kids. That is BANG out of order. Forming sides in a family is only going to go one way.
It sounds like your step-daughter needs a kick from behind to get herself a job or something to gain a bit of self responsibilty.
Your wife is also taking you for granted, in a big way. You can only be expected to take so much before you have reached your limit.
if your wife does not want to listen to your reasonable opions then you need to think seriously about your future. You can only take so much of this.
I wish you all the best mate.. You need to be strong about this and dont be afraid to make the right decision how ever tough it might be.
Take care of yourself..
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