A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy at a party and thought he was very interested in me. He made out with me and tried to go farther, but I stopped him as I thought it was inappropriate. I went over to his place the next day to watch a movie, but while we were watching it, he kept trying again to go farther than I wanted to. I have no excuse, but I let him take me up to his room and had sex with him. We cuddled afterwords and fell asleep. I regretted it right after because I have never done something like that before and felt cheap and ashamed. But he said he would call me soon so he could take me out to dinner. Two weeks later we went and had a nice time. But he wouldn't hug me or hold my hand. He paid for the dinner. Before he headed back home he picked me up in a hug and swung me around and then kissed me, and said the reason he was acting weird was because he was nervous. He invited me to go see a film and a concert with him the next day. Again, he wouldn't hug or hold my hand. I tried to hug him, but he pulled away. We were early for the film, so we went into a store to kill time. He just walked off and left me by myself, and when he didn't come back after awhile, I headed out of the store and he showed up behind me asking if I found anything. When we got to the concert and he had a drink, he started hugging me and resting his head on my shoulder. I was so confused. So when the concert was over, I asked him why he was acting so weird. He said that he didn't know how to act or do around me since he didn't want to hurt me. I asked him how he could hurt me. He asked if I wanted a boyfriend. I just shrugged my shoulders. He didn't say anything. So I asked him, "Why? Are you not boyfriend material?" He said some stupid joke I didn't laugh at, and finally said that no, he wasn't boyfriend material. I was a little pissed as he didn't make this clear before. I had assumed that he was taking me out on dates since he was paying. It was really late when we headed back to my place. He was walking me home and kept complaining about how sleepy he was. I told him that he could sleep over but that was all that was going to happen. But when we laid down to sleep he pulled me close to him and cuddled. Then he started kissing me. We made out and he tried to go farther but I stopped him and said I was tired. He pulled me in to cuddle and fell asleep. The next morning I made him breakfast and he just ate and stared at me, trying to make conversation. He invited me to go to the record store with him. We went and as soon as we got into the store, he walked off without me. I got some CDs and went to find him, but he found me first and asked what I got. We both paid for our stuff and he hugged and kissed me on the head good-bye and told me to call him later. I didn't.Please tell me that I'm not overreacting when I think I never want to talk or see this person again. I feel like he is just using me, and some of his behavior seems rude and confusing. I've only been in one other relationship (not that I'm confusing this as a relationship). So I'm aware, kind of, of how a guy treats a girl he likes. Should I stop talking to him?
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male
reader, daglish  +, writes (20 July 2009):
 To bite right through the cherry, that guy's got a problem. I dont think he's being honest with you.Why does act wierd now that he's already had a piece of you? Ask yourself why it took a drink for him to start leaning on you for comfort and all the cuddling. Am afraid he is either low in confidence or simply having a good time. If you are that generous, hang in there and let him have enough of 'it'. I would rather advise you to look somewhere else for more meaningful sex.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (20 July 2009):
 Oh young lady,
first off I am sorry that this happened to you. I would venture a guess that he is really in a quandry. The inconsistent behavior on his part would tell me that he wants to be more Friends with benefits than a couple. I would not worry too much about the fact that you slept with him. Yes it was perhaps impulsive but its done and over with.
I think this guy probably really does not want a GF, but an occasional piece of ass. Just my opinion, but Ive been to a donkey show, a circus and a couple of rodeos in my life, and thats the way guys who want sex but who don't want GFs act.
I would simply move on. I think the lesson you can learn from this is to treat yourself better in the future, and also to make sure at the outset that you state exactly what you want in a relationship, or didn't want. It's certainly not your fault. and you deserve to be treated with respect. I know its easier said than done, but in the future, don't take this lame ass behavior off anyone.
And yes, Ive actually been to a donkey show...lol
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