A
male
age
41-50,
*ennyboyca
writes:Ok, so I had my 2nd date last night with a girl that I met on a dating app.. The 1st date was at a pub near her house and last night she came to mine, I put some nice cool easy listening to music on, lit candles and cooked for her. We talked from when she arrived, the conversation flowed. I served the food, she seemed to like it, then I put a film on.. About 20 minutes into the film, I said 'are you ok' to break the ice and put my arm round her. She went from how she was sitting to kind of just twisting to leaning on me- she didn't touch me or anything which left me wondering if does like me.. Anyway, the end of the film came, and about 10 or 15 minutes later, she had to go. I helped her with her coat and kissed her but it wasn't a snog/ French kiss, just like 3 kisses on the lips. I don't know if she's shy.. She texted me when she got back saing 'thank you for a lovely evening xx' and I said that I enjoyed seeing her.Is there a subtle thing I could say/ ask to drop into a text at some point later that could basically gage how she thinks it's going thats more revealing than just planning another date? It would just be good to know I'm on the right track or not, I could just do with a small insite..
View related questions:
shy, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 February 2015):
 Agree agree agree... a second date AT HOME?
with easy listening music and candles... oh yes it SCREAMS you wanted sex...
Call her (not a text) and ask her for a third date IN PUBLIC somewhere nice. How about a coffee/museum date....
IF you like her as a person and plan to continue to treat her as such... a small inexpensive bouquet of flowers (daisies and such not roses) would be nice too when you go to pick her up.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 February 2015):
 I think Cindy hit a really GOOD point.
She might have thought ( he wants to get laid) when you suggested dinner at your house, but BEING that she IS a "good girl" and that she likes you - she still went. I think she was HOPING you wouldn't put the MOVES on her so soon, hence her (to you odd) body-language.
I'd really keep the dates to public places. And when it comes to intimacy and kissing - maybe let her take the lead?
You might ask why not ask her to come to my place, it's so much easier?... NOT for her though.. THAT is YOUR territory. NOT hers. NEUTRAL ground, my friend, is a good start.
I think if she really wasn't interested... she wouldn't have texted you.
Be CREATIVE in your dates, they don't have to COST an arm and a leg, but make them memorable and fun. And consider that the MORE you two can TALK to easier you can get to know one another.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 February 2015):
 Agreed with Honeypie. Second date , cozy candlelit dinner complete with easy listening music... to me it would clearly say " someone wants to get laid real bad but wants to be smooth about it ".
Then again : let's not forget that the girl was invited over , not forced at gun point. If she accepted to go , should not that mean that she knew something was supposed to happen, and was surely not adverse to the idea...?
Probably she did that fuzzy boundaries thing that girls often do,like : I'll follow him where I am not comfortable ( his place ) because I like him , or sort of like him ,but I'll watch his every move like a hawk and I'll have the body language of a broomstick , to make sure nothing " serious " happens.
So I think she DOES like you, - otherwise why even the 3 kisses . But she wants you to slow down, or/ and she wants the time to figure out what you are really after .
You can ask her out for a "real " date - dinner or drinks or something - and leave the cozy moments at home for a little later.
P.S. I am curious to know why you say " maybe she is shy ". I mean, sure, maybe she is, but where did you get it from ? From her not initiating a French kiss ?... Well, you did not French kiss her either and you were there too !, are you shy too ?
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 February 2015):
Ask her out again, and have the DATE in public. I think it's kind of bad taste to invite her over on second date - to me (as a woman) I would presume you are trying to get laid and I may not be comfortable about that on the SECOND date.
...............................
|
