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I am unable to acheive an orgasm through intercouse, any suggestions?

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Question - (16 March 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 18 March 2010)
A female United Kingdom, *iordana writes:

I'm 23 years old and i lost my viginity when i was 19. Since then i havent been able to have an orgasm through intercourse. i can organsm through oral sex and masturbation but it seems no matter what i do i just can achieve an orgasm through sex.

i have tried loads of things like different positions, alcohol, even weed. but although i've gotten close i've never managed to go all the way.

is there anything me and my boyfriend can try that is more successful?????

my boyfriend used to make a real effort trying to make me come but now he has kinda reaslised it might not happen he doesnt take as much time (not that i can blame him... i get more frustrated than he does!)

View related questions: oral sex, orgasm

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010):

It is very important for you to understand how your mind and body are connected. When you say that you "can't" you trick your mind into believing you can't. relax and don't get upset or frustrated. Give your guy some slack too. Maybe he's not making a big deal about you having an orgasm because he's trying to take the pressure off of you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010):

The trick to female climax is to know what you like. Exploring your body and masturbation is the key to knowing what you like.

Once you know that you need to teach your boyfriend what you like: help him explore your body in the way that works for you. That's one of the long-run benefits that extended foreplay brings to your sex life.

Once he understands the things that work for you, then he can incorporate that into your intercourse. Sometimes the things you like aren't possible during intercourse, in which case intercourse becomes part of a longer love-making.

To give you a real example (and why this is anonymous) my partner can only climax through intercourse only after she has climaxed through masturbation or licking. Even then the rear position works best for her, as her breasts can brush the sheets and my fingers can stroke her clitoris. And she needs that for a long time, so it is best if this isn't my first climax of the evening (we often 69 for the first time for both of us). Sounds like a lot of work, but the results are well worth it as her climax is huge (as is mine).

As you can see, you really only get to learn such specific things about each other by spending a lot of time exploring one another. On the plus side, it does lead to the best sex of your life.

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A male reader, Kenj United Kingdom +, writes (16 March 2010):

Kenj agony auntTry more foreplay and some sex toys. I think a lot of women have the same issue, even some guys have this problem too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010):

I can totally relate to your situation. Up until a few weeks ago I had never orgasmed during intercourse and I am 40yo lol...I had tried a few things, one was my partner aroused me with his fingers till I was almost there and there he inserted his penis...I just about got there but he got excited a tad too quickly lol....The next attempt was to use the clit tickler on my vibrator against my clit whilst we had intercourse....finally I achieved.....Don't give up. You will work out what gets you going best with your partner and go from there...Just think of all the fun trying......

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