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anonymous
writes:I promised my sister to help my niece with her homework and study (9 years old) one hour a day and collect her from school as her father doesn't take the time to do so and she works a lot. The problem is the girl sometimes gets mad at me and said she'd rather be with her mummy. I understand but the work takes me usually double than it should as she is always complaining and it is getting hard to get her to start doing homework as the wants to be messing around. I can stand it most times but sometimes it REALLY gets on my nerves and my sister complains to me if the little girl ever doesn't get a good mark, I am geting stressed and do not know how to handle with it as I am a teacher but it gets hard to negotiate with my niece and do not want to shout at her or fight. The worst thing is I feel awfully guilty when I tell her off so that she gets sad or criesm I even remember this before going to sleep any ideas? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): I think you should put your sister completely in the picture about her daughter, how she behaves etc. Tell her everything. It isn't your fault if she does rubbish at school, you cannot be held to ransom for the child's progress. You are doing your best. Let your sister deal with the rewards and punishments and you just do the school work. If you are feeling the stress then tell your sister that you can no longer continue with this. You need to feel happy and at ease with the whole situation. I have three kids and therefore i know what they can be like at that age. Don't be bullied. They can be terrors.
Best Wishes
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): Great advice below, I have s strong willed 10 year old neice so I have been there done that, and she knows how to win an argument and a negotiation so you do not want to negotiate with her.
Have her mom set the rewards for great marks, and if she does not get down to studying when she is supposed to, close the books, and walk out, and when she is punished for one poor mark, she will learn the consequences pretty quick if her mom will enforce them....don't grovel it never works with kids.
What a nice aunt for helping her with her homework, snd she gets a teacher no less, she should be told that working with you is a privledge that the other kids don't have at the school!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): Yeah, this is a major problem with kids.
If she doesnt think she should be doing the work with you, she is not going to be into it. You need to get buyin from her and her mother that this is important.
It up to her mother to set the rewards and punishments that re-enforce your work. You dont need to be accountable for the punishments; her mother should be. If at the end of the week or two weeks, the girls is getting homework back with poor marks, she need to lose tv or other perks.
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