A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Really trying to understand how women are not supposd to feel hurt and objectified in this pornification culture It is true that men care about women’s look , at least a large majority of them do. One only has to look at their lads mags and porn to see what they consider ‘hot’ It’s not the bodies of women who have spent twenty years with them and bring their children into the world . It’s the bodies of young women in their twenties who have not been pregnant that they lust after and who grace the covers of those mags. Yes porns a fantasy, just like someone said above . It’s the fantasy of what every man would love if he could have it . The truth is most men can’t get women Like that so they do what they consider settling with women they consider less attractive than the hot porn looking young women ! That’s what men want , that’s what men care about ! Stop trying to tell women that they are imagining it! Stop trying to convice us that men either see or care about women’s humanity or are attracted to us as whole people To most men, women are a series of holes and functions to clean and reproduce . Unless we stay eternally ‘hot’ and twenty, have no babies , don’t age etc ? We are worthless in their eyes This is the true experince of women once they start aging and men make it very clear that they neither understand nor careHow does the average woman come to terms with this as she ages and as these things become clear? Especially the way men don't care
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
female
reader, vanillaSlice  +, writes (31 May 2015):
I have read a few articles and seen a few situations were the couple / marries life with kids, jobs, bill and such starts to make a slide down hill. One thing that is normally pointed out and there is some truth to it. The moms ( caretakers of the family) do not invest time into themselves. They work hard to keep the home, and family together, and kids are awesome but they are also a lot of work. If you are feeling this way, look into your situation first. It really is one of the better places to start. Think - if you found a hundred dollars (other then savings and bills) where would you put that money,.. to the home, your kids,.. or…yourself? … do you blow dry your hair straight out the shower and then hot iron or curl it. do you at least clip your nails to an even length once a week or two weeks,… and do you still like the clothes in your closet? … I know these sound superficial,.. but I want to ask if you are taking care of yourself as much as you take care of everything/ everyone else. If not then you're probably not feeling as good about yourself as you could. And the pornos are only going to make you feel chart much worse. As for those perfect looking bodies doing their thing in pornos,… seeing naked beautiful girls to some extent will probably always make most women feel a little on guard. But maybe one night when its just you two on the couch you could open your computer and start looking through a few of them,.. it may be interesting to see how he responds??
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (20 May 2015):
 Hi,
Many men do not watch porn. And some men actively do not like porn for the way it depicts and objectifies women.
My guy is one such guy. That does not mean that he does not notice pretty ladies, he most certainly does, but I never feel threatened by that, as I have great faith in him and believe that he has a right to admire from afar. It's normal in my book.
I like to observe gorgeous men too. I like them to be kind and compassionate, but I certainly enjoy a glance at how a good looking guy looks. I do mark them down though if I sense arrogance.
I guess we have to rise above feeling let down about porn.
It is not our failing nor any perceived inadequacy on our part that drives a man to watch porn.
Porn gives a very skewed depiction of what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in a relationship.
I think women need to value who we are. We do not need to allow their wish to watch porn as any reflection on who we are and our ''value''. Nor can we allow what some choose to watch as defining what is attractive and what is not.
Because I often feel sad for girls who choose to emulate the depiction of a woman in a porn movie.
Personally I see no point in gravity defining fake breasts.
Nor displays of vast areas of flesh from neck to almost navel and ankle to hip bone, when a woman is allegedly dressed for a formal event.
Very often such body revealing outfits would be more suitable in the bedroom rather than the red carpet.
There is nothing elegant about a C-grade 'celebrity' or even a misguided B-grade starlet presenting herself in this way.
One never sees men with their trousers split from ankle to hip bone and their dinner jacket worn with flesh coloured fabric inserts across the upper torso area.
It seems that only women feel the need to present themselves on the red carpet in a state of undress.
Women in the public limelight ought to develop more courage to say no to their stylists. If they are not in the porn industry then why allow themselves to be duped into dressing like a woman in the porn industry?
The answer to why C-grade celebrities do these things is that making money and attracting money to them is more important to them than anything else. When I hear that some evil despot has paid for a celebrity to attend a function held by the despot then I think much less of that C-grade celebrity. When their looks fade what do they do? Plastic Surgery. Then when the face or the breasts drop again what do they do? More plastic surgery. They are misguided.
Eventually the look very worse for wear and probably very insecure - all because they based their looks on a false premise of what is attractive.
The men who value women who look like porn stars are worth only our pity.
If women want to present themselves with huge fake breasts spilling out in all their glory and occasional nipple malfunctions then they deserve only our pity too.
Such men are shallow.
Where women have been sucked in by thinking they are doing themselves any favours to present themselves in public dressed like a porn star then they are very deluded. Just pity them.
The vast majority of women do not want to look like a porn star.
There are many millions of lovely men who don't rush home to their porn on Friday night, but do indeed instead look forward to conversation, a nice meal and some satisfying love making with their partner. And if in private they may choose to indulge in a fantasy with their partner and that is fine too. That is private between the couple and remains private between them.
Real people do not then publish a video of the lovemaking.
I suspect that guys who need to watch a lot of porn are not getting what they need from a real life relationship. That is not a reflection on their real life partner. Perhaps the guy is not ready for a real life partner or perhaps the guy does not treat a real life partner as well as he could.
Or more likely a heavy user of pornography does not have a relationship with any real life partner. So he looks to porn as the 'standard' for a woman of interest to him.
It's a 'standard' that few intelligent and attractive women would ever want to emulate.
Best to go forward and keep an eye out for the respectful man who does not always steer the conversation in the direction of smutty talk, is not disrespectful in his actions and CAN have a serious intelligent conversation. These men do exist.
The man 100 percent obsessed with porn, to the exclusion of all else, is just not worthy of a respectful woman's company.
If all the men you encounter are porn obsessd then you need to find a better group of men. Change where you go to meet guys. Take part in activities that will bring you into contact with men who can make a difference. Go on holidays to places that are not overly touristy. Volunteer and meet more caring compassionate men. Don't go to places where those who can drink the most alcohol and still stand up are valued for that ability.
Step aside from such people, they cannot define you.
You are the one who decides what looks good on you.
What YOU think of you and what YOU VALUE about you is what really matters.
Value all your positive traits. You decide what is attractive and what is not.
And you and a respectful man together decide how your relationship will progress in public, in private and in your lovemaking too.
The opinion of a man who watches and has watched many hours of pornography - where that is his most time consuming past time - then his opinion of what is attractive in a woman is likely to be skewed.
Such men may even have some issues to work through when they do try to have a real life relationship with a real woman.
Since I see porn obessed men as men with a problem I thus would not seek out their opinion on taste and nor would I seek their advice on what is attractive.
Maybe woman need more positive role models who are not self obsesssed about looks and selfies. The media seems to push C-grade starlets as the standard. They rarely have useful articles on interesting female role models who dress appropriately, live useful lives, keep fit and are either nurturing a family or building a career or building their business, or whatever is important to them..
...............................
|
