A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am truly in love with my teacher, and it's more than a crush. He is about 20 years old than me, happily married with two kids. Obviously it's never going to work out, and I know that, but I am always day dreaming about him and have actual dreams about him, sometimes a bit inappropriate. In class, it seems like he is always looking at me, but this is probably my mind playing tricks on me. He is gorgeous, with the brightest smile, nicest teeth and kindest eyes. I would however, like to become better friends with him if possible. We don't really have any special relationship, except he coaches one of my sports teams. How do I cherish this time without blowing and try to be his friend? Is it wrong to still daydream about him even if I know it's never going to happen? Is anyone else in this situation?
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female
reader, ilovemb  +, writes (19 December 2009):
 hey, i have the same problem. i like this teahcer who is 13 years older than me. all i think about is how it would be great if he came to the school when he was 22 and i was 18. but no. i think its okay to say dream about them.. but dont act on those daydreams. however sometimes when you daydream about them you start to think you have a stronger relationship than you do actually have with them. just be careful x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): I know I'm late as hell but I've just found out about this site :).I have the same problem as you do with my English teacher.I love him,he's 14 yrs older(ntw i'm 15)and we have pretty good relationship.I know that it'd be bad for him to have somethig with me but I just can't help myslef but flirt a bit.What makes it harder is that he is not married or have gf.In the classes,what I do is enjoy his attention and try nothing.I think my feelings are obvious but flirt can't hurt.
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A
female
reader, smartazngirl +, writes (26 October 2008):
 Hey, I've had a crush on my teacher before, too. (When I was in 8th grade) He was very old, like 60-something. Even so, I really love him. I knew that it wasn't a crush because I couldn't get over him. Even though many people told me to get over him, I couldn't. But, I knew that I wasn't "in love" with him. I only "love" him. You see the difference? The reason I love him is because of his kindness. I never loved him physically, only emotionally. Only because of his heart.
Anyways, he found out about my crush because I acted really obvious. He tried to push me away gently, but it really hurted me a lot. Hopefully, this doesn't happens to you.
Just try to keep your relationship "teacher-student". Don't try to talk to him 1 on 1, it makes it too obvious.
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A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (24 September 2008):
 On one hand you are being very sensible and realistic - you are looking at the situation for what it is, a schoolgirl crush. Like Shandygirl says, these crushes are pretty common. I am sure your feelings are very real which is what makes it harder to accept all the 'reasons' you two can never be together.
In my opinion though, nothing constructive can come from you being 'friends' with this man.
How many "friends" do you currently have who are 20 years your senior? None? Well - there's a reason for that. Developmentally there is a HUGE gap between where you and he are at cognitively (how you think), emotionally and physically. This gap will lessen as you get older, but right now you are only just beinning to figure out what the 'adult' you will be like. So basically - a 'friendship' with this man would be unlikely - you won;t have that much in common.
Secondly - he is your teacher. If he is a professional, respectable person he would not even consider befriending one of his students. He may like you very much, maybe more than some of the other students - but that doesn't mean he has any "feelings" for you. I think you have already accepted that may be the case.
Finally, I want you to imagine that one of your best friends develops a HUGE crush on your Dad....how would you feel about that? How would you react if suddenly they were hanging out like "friends"? It just isn't right is it?
I think you are obviously a mature young lady who has alot of insight into this situation. Even though it seems so awful now, the ONLY thing you can do is admire from afar and/or try to move on. Look at the qualities and traits you admire so in this teacher and start looking for someone closer to your own age/stage that has some of those qualities. You'll get past this in time.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (24 September 2008):
 You are right, it is never going to work. He is happily married with kids.
I had a crush on a teacher once. It is a common thing. Leave it at that.
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