A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:there is a girl that I like and she knows that I like her, but it is impossible for me to talk to her in person. we talk fine on google hangouts, but when it comes to in-person confrontation, I can't even look at her because I am too shy. I need help with talking to her.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 April 2021):
 Good luck :)
Even if it doesn't work out with this girl it will be good for you to start practising your social skills :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2021): Keep doing what you're doing, to make sure you keep her attention. Take it slow, but when you see her in-person; always say hello, and tell her how much you enjoy chatting with her when you hangout online. Always give her a smile, that confirms that you like her.
You have to practice opening-up and interacting with people in-person. Want to know why? Because they get to know you as a person, and like you for your personality. Shy is okay, and me being someone who used walkaround with my head-down to avoid eye-contact; I know what you you mean. I had to force myself to be more interactive with people. Once of my teachers noticed; and made me read my essay aloud in-front of the class. I was terrified, but they applauded at the end! It felt good, but I trembled through the whole reading! It eased my shyness. It didn't cure it. I took it from there. I was your same age!
I had to get out of my comfort-zone; and learn to socialize and mingle with people, even when it made me feel uneasy. We didn't have internet back then; so you had no choice but to face people.
Start by just saying hello. Say more and more every-time you see her face-to-face. Always give her a smile! When you do chat with her online; tell her you're a little shy but you still want her to know that you like her.
You've got to be brave, before some other guy comes along and grabs her attention away from you!
When you let shyness win, you won't make many friends. You'll lose all the nice-girls to other guys. You have to do it to show girls how mature you can be. You're not a baby anymore, you're growing-up!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2021): Catch her when shes on her own and just say hi, and ask her how shes doing. Have some open ended questions already planned, that way she will do most of the talking. Also have an escape planned if things get awkward like - "oh I just remembered I have to go to the library, catch up later". You dont have to pronounced your eternal love in the first conversation! Just be friendly. Speak to her as you would any other friend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2021): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat helps a lot! I never really thought of it that way! Thank you, Code Warrior and Honeypie! I need to remember that it is just a conversation! I'm not going to die just by talking to her! This has given me a little more courage! Saying hi will be taking a huge step, but in the end, it will all be worth it!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 April 2021):
I agree with CodeWarrior.
You have put ALL your apples in this ONE basket. You think you will only have ONE chance with this girl. That is not reality.
Start out SMALL. Say Hi! when passing her. (if you go to the same school) If she is with friends don't stop. It will only make it harder to not fold.
Next time you see her, bring up something you two talked about on google hangout. Music, movies, some event at school (like a game or musical or whatever). Have a short conversation.
Then keep doing those until you feel more comfortable talking to her.
It sucks to be shy. I was too. The thing is, YOU just going to have to get out there. Do it in smaller increments - such as saying hi to strangers and people you would LIKE to talk to, and then work on having small talk, then conversations. IT takes work and effort on your behalf. But you can do this.
It's OK to be a little awkward, OP
YOU can do this.
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