A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 and a half years. we get into arguments about three times a week. its not just a regular little argument he gets to throwning stuff around breaking my stuff to make me mad. punching wholes in the television throwning food out the refrigerater moving all my stuff into a room so i want have to be around him. stomping up and down the stairs breaking windows out my car and flatteing all the tires. whatever he can do to make me mad he will do it please help and give me your advice im tired of him i want out of this relationship im only 21 years old Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Artistry +, writes (10 June 2008):
 Hi, It is way beyond time for you, to leave this relationship. This person has a lot of pent up anger and it is being directed at you. Please do not sit and think he will change, he won't. It has to be his decision to change or modify his behavior, and he seems to have no intention of doing so. He likes behaving this way, his intent is to intimidate, next he'll resort to hitting you, if he has not hit you already. I don't think I have to tell you that this is an unhealthy relationship. Think about it, he is behaving like a spoiled brat. You really deserve better, how have you stood this, all this time? Leave and leave now. You don't even have to respond to him if he calls, after you leave, because he will call. His actions are a method of control, he needs a therapist in the worse sort of way. Do not spend another minute with this man, you should get as far away from him as possible. Please, for your own sake, leave now. I would also tell someone else about his behavior, someone you can trust. Hopefully you will not need a restraining order in the future, but a witness to what has gone on, between you and him, might not be a bad idea. It will be a verbal witness only, but at least someone will know the details. Take care.
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (10 June 2008):
What your bf is doing is abuse and its in no way acceptable. He may not be physically hurting you, but this is still abuse. Often physical abuse does start with the abuser damaging the abusers items (such as your car) and throwing things around the room and punching wholes in the wall etc to create FEAR.
I def do think you should leave this relationship. Your bf needs to work on himself and get rid of his abusive behaviour, he can't do it in a relationship.
Ring a close friend or family memeber who you know will be supportive of you. Tell them your situation and I am sure they will be willing to let you stay with them until you find some where permenant.
Its up to you if you tell him face to face that you are leaving. You don't have to! Its ok. In this sort of situation where you risk being hurt, its not considred rude to just leave without saying anything. You could leave a note if you really wanted to tell him. Or if you really do feel you want to say it to him face to face, make sure you have a male (such as your dad, brother or a close male frined) with you when telling him for protection. Don't do it alone, you need support.
Hope this has helped!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 June 2008):
 Hi, this does not sound like a safe situation for you. Do you have someone you can to to stay with? A family member, a friend, anyone who can give you a place to stay to get away from him?
Please call this number or look at the websites here for more help:
http://www.ndvh.org/
http://www.ncadv.org/resources/state.htm
1-800-799-SAFE
Please do not let this escalate into anything more, something that could risk your health.
Please call right away.
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A
male
reader, I.Try.My.Best  +, writes (10 June 2008):
Hi, I sugest you try to get out of this relationship ASAP, If he is doing all this to you then he clearly dispises you or has an anger issue. You can either ask him to sit down and speak with you and then slowly develop the conversation into one about your relationship and then go through your feelings about him and that you dont want to carry on this way and should start to go your own ways.
The other option may seem rather rational but if you think if you go down the road of option 1 then he may lash out and possibly hit you, your best bet is to leave and stay in a friend or familys house. You should also leave a note somewhere where he would read it, e.g. If he comes home to sit on the sofa, then put it on the sofa etc...
I hope you get out of this relationship unharmed and hope you will be happy with your choice.
I.Try.My.Best
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