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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex and i broke up over a year ago..not due to anything that couldn't be repaired..noone cheated..i know what i did wrong and my regrets and left him a voicemail in september. He called me back about 5 minutes later. I told him directly my intentions, my regrets, and that I can't be friends with him. He said he can't jump back into this which is completely understandable. Taking it slow is the best thing to do. I think he wants things more casual right now and not serious. He said we will exchange calls and meet. I did ask him do you just want to give me back my stuff and he said no. He also asked if anyone knew we were talking and I said my mother and he said his mother knows as well. We mentioned meeting but haven't followed through yet and now its the holidays which can be an awkward time for us. He did say he knows I am making a genuine effort and maybe he needs to get his head together. I did say ok so maybe after the holidays and he agreed and said ok. The calling has become less recently. We were taking turns calling every few days or 5 days or so. I haven't heard from him since last sunday(11 days) and I called last.The strong thing is to give him space, let the holidays pass and see what happens. But I am tempted to call or text asking him what's going on? A good friend said she would wait until after the holidays are over and see what he does. She said maybe its sort of weird for him and he wants to let the holidays pass. (xmas and NYE)She is trying to give him the benefit of the doubt for now. Should I give him space and not contact him? I really just want to talk and see what's going on; not the easiest thing for me.
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female
reader, trueatheart  +, writes (26 December 2009):
 Hi,
I think 11 days is a long time, holidays or not! Why does this guy need so much space anyway? Either he wants you back or he doesn't. He either wants to be in a relationship or he doesn't. If you want to put your mind at rest, call him asap, then at least you'll be able to move on.
If you would rather put his wishes and feelings before your own, then wait till after the holidays. Personally, I wouldn't keep hanging on for somebody who expects me to make all the moves. My guess is, if he hasn't been in touch for a long time, he probably doesn't really want to get involved again. Don't keep putting yourself in the position where he is messing with your head. It really isn't worth it. Do the right thing by yourself. Take care.
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