A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really need help with this problem so any advice would be greatly appreciated:)So my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and in the beginning we had XXX almost 3-4 times a day! He is very sexually active and so was I.Now that our relationship has cooled off, we're still in school, we have family issues of our own, We have been cooling off on the XXX time.At least that's how I felt about it. My boyfriend's sexual appetite has not swayed at all. He still wants XXX 3-4, if not more, times a day. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't hate XXX and he is NOT doing anything that I don't like, and I find him VERY sexually attractive to this day. I just don't find myself wanting it as much as he does.I should also say that even when he wants to XXX to himself (if you know what i mean) he wants me with him. Again, I have no problem with this, I'd rather it be me than porn behind my back.But, again, I don't want it all the time. I have tried everything. I have tried talking to him. We've tried multiple orgasms we've tried other positions. Everything we could think of, we have tried.I find myself sighing when he asks me to do it, and I roll my eyes and I do not enjoy it. I do enjoy it when we have it the first time of the day, but after that, it all goes down hill :(I really love my boyfriend, and what we have is more than about sex. And it's not that I feel that our relationship is about sex. Not at all. I just don't know what to do. I know this is a silly question, but is there anyone who has a similar problem? any advice other than to leave him? I really just need some kind of voice to tell me what to do. I feel so lost and so does my boyfriend. Sorry about all the Information, I tried to be discreet.Thank you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): This is what I think;Something similar happened to me in my last relationship. When I first meet my ex, we were having sex as much as you guys, and after a year everything changed. I didn't know if it was because of me or she didn't like it anymore etc. after living with her and with this lack of sex for almos a year I asked her to be honest with my becuase this whole situation was killing me. Don't take me wrong and think that this was all about sex, but with this lack of sex I lost my confidence and I felt no attarctive anymore, which brought other issues to our relationship. Then she told me that she did had as much sex as I wanted because she was trying to impress me to keep me with her, and that she really didn't want as much sex as I wanted it. I thought why would you keep that as a secret, anyways I felt like she lied to me. We ended up breaking up for this. I think soon as you feel like something has changed you should talk to him and let him know what is going on, after this you guys can work something out.Good Luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): All I got out of this was that you're 22-25 and you can hardly bring yourself to write the word "sex" instead of "XXX" in a question.
If you don't want sex as much, don't have it as much. There's no reason you should pretend to want something just as much if you really don't, that's not fair to you.
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A
female
reader, _Anonyy_  +, writes (5 November 2009):
Here's what I say,
I would XXX with my boyfriend 3-4 times a day or even more until school started and then sometimes my sex drive would completely shut off at points and we wouldn't even have sex for like a week. Or we just couldn't because we'd both be too busy. Until I started masturbating and finding things that interest me sexually alone.
The more comfortable and sexual you are with yourself, the more you can learn to be with others. I say it depends on who you are, if you're really stressed and have a lot on your plate then I might suggest you to buy yourself a toy (such as a vibrator) and play around with it a little.. you know? Or just toys in general that you and your partner might find interesting or the key to "spice" your relationship.
Porn anything that might remove that stress or make you feel more in the mood. Just DO NOT DO NOT DO. NOT! Add another person (three-sums etc...) Baaad Idea. If you guys love each other I'm sure all will be well, Just be sure you're keeping each other interested and make each other feel sexy. Maybe what you need is some lit candles and a bath to set you off? A super sexy experience might lead to several more. As for the 2 years and the decrease in sex WELCOME TO A RELATIONSHIP. Obstacles like that will appear its up to you and your love to avoid these, for these are what bring a relationship to an abrupt end.
Best of luck!!!
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