A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I started a job in an open plan office and we get performance assessments based on productivity. My previous job I had my own office and managed my own time. I didn't discuss it with my boyfriend beforehand, I only told him once I had been accepted because I actually thoght I was going to be turned down. He was very angry with me about that and said that is not the way to treat your partner, and he's probably right in a way but I think I should manage my career myself but ok he has a point.The problem is my boyfriend used to call me for a chat in lunch breaks in the old job but now sometimes I work through lunch to reach targets because I'm new at this, still learning, and I enjoy the job and want to do well.He totally does not get this and says I am disrespecting him by not even taking a call in my lunch break and that the whole thing sounds suspicious to him, like he thinks I'm getting up to no good with the boss or something.He calls my boss (who he doesn't know and hasn't met) all kinds of rude names and says he'll "leave us to it then" and if I fail to take his next lunch time call or respond to texts "there will bw consequences" - those were his exact words.I don't know what has got into him because he's usually a mild mannered layed back guy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2012): "I don't know what has got into him because he's usually a mild mannered layed back guy."
He knows you know you can live without him and he sees that as a threat. Dump him NOW before he gets you fired!!!
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (4 February 2012):
 Consequences? What kind of consequences? Your guy is being a control freak. You're WORKING and you have every right to be putting your all into your new job. Yes you probably should discuss new jobs with your partner, but if it happens really fast and it doesn't involve moving, then what impact does it have on him? Your boyfriend needs to get over himself and realize your life does not revolve around him.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 February 2012):
 He is being very immature and he is acting like a spoilt brat as far as I can see. This sounds like the beginning of controlling behaviour so be aware of that. How long have you been with this guy first? You just need to tell him that you are new and you are wanting to do the best job that you can and if he is not happy for you then that is his problem. His words are very threatening which are never good in a relationship so stand up for yourself and show him that it is unacceptable for him to treat you like that or speak to you like that. Tell him when you have the time you will call him but he needs to respect that you have a job to do, if he doesn't well then there is no point to the relationship.
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