A
male
age
30-35,
*h00419
writes:i was in a relationship for a little over a year and we split up. i moved about four hours away but we still talk. she is seeing other people but she says she still is in love with me and it is hard to be with somone when you love somone else. i kno that if we ever got bac together it wouldnt work. we have cheated on eachother and there would be no trust and alot of jelousy. i cant believe anything she tells me.its like our entire relationship was based on the sex. i have tryed to talk to other girls but all i can ever think about is her. its not that she is the most beautiful thing ever it is that the sex was the best i have ever had and i feel lke i will never be able to have sex like that again. i have had sex with one other girl sense we split up and she was much hotter and prettier and a much better person, but it was not even close to what i wanted . i knew that she would of been good to me and not cheat on me like my ex but after we had sex i couldnt do it and we stopped talking. i need help because i am constantly depressed and lonely. like i said i moved and i dont kno many people here so i get very lonely.
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depressed, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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male
reader, nflguy +, writes (8 October 2007):
Time will heal your pain bro. You need to stop talking to your ex and give yourself at least 6 months of not dating anyone. Otherwise you will always compare others to her.
A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (8 October 2007):
I think what people are saying about time is true, it will heal you just hang in here. Also the fact that you recently moved and have few friends makes you feel even lonelier. It's a vicious cycle, you feel lonely so you get depressed, then because you are depressed you don't do anything, which makes you feel lonely, etc. Since you don't have anything else to occupy your mind, you keep thinking of her.
Some suggestions I have... first, if there is a Trader Joes near you, go there and find a totally natural herbal supplement called SAM-E. It will help boost your mood and lift the depression enough to help you get up and out of the house. It does the trick for me every time. Then you need to get out here and make some friends, find things to do. Join a sports league or take a continuing ed class for something you find interesting. Volunteer for something, it will get you out in the world and help your mind focus on something else than this girl, and you will meet new people. Forget about getting involved with someone new right now, it will only make you think about your ex. You need to just do your own thing and get her out of your head. Get busy, stay busy and soon you will forget the girl and find happiness with a new girl. And trust me, you will have fantastic sex again with someone else... and hopefully more as well.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (7 October 2007):
 Hi
Its just too soon. Time really is a good healer! If you had met this recent girl in a few months time, you would be perfectly happy with her! You are still tied up in the ex and only time can get past that. You could meet Claudia Chiffer tomorrow and she wouldnt 'seem' right!
But you know deep down the ex isnt right for you, so thats a good start. Time will heal the rest and you WILL have fantastic sex again i assure you!
Ive been there and bought the t shirt with what you are saying. But the person i felt like that with doesnt even feature now to me, and i have had a couple of chances of a night with them and i wouldnt dream of it or want to go there honest! There is light at the end of the tunnel. You just cant see it yet :o(
Stay strong and give yourself more time!
Good luck.
C xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): I was in a similar situation, except that the guy who i was seeing had a gf and since he moved n we stopped seeing eachother, i was finding it hard to move on cuz we both admitted the sex was the best ever. and i missed it like mad.
although theres plenty of fish in the sea and sex is no grounds to soley base a relationship upon.
It doesnt work that way. u need trust and affection between eachother or its not a relationship it really is just sex.
Think about what you want right now, great sex or a loving relationship that matters to you.
You never know the next potential gf you meet one day might turn out to be everything youve ever wanted sexually and relationship wise.
Dont give up hope, good luck xx
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