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I am so upset at his swearing and name calling that I really don't think I want to be with him anymore.....

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 June 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I was frightened of my partner driving fast last night as it was raining heavily and dark and he got angry as he was tired. He knows I hate it when he drives at the upper limit as I was in a bad accident in my teens in the rain. He was so angry he told me I was behaving like a f*ing t*rd. I am so upset at his swearing and name calling that I really dont think I want to be with him anymore. He refuses to apologise saying that he wouldnt normally be like that but he was tired and cross. I feel really upset today. I am a mature woman and my partner calls me that! How can we ever live together? I just cannot get past this. I feel so confused and upset. I dont even think I want to see him again. We have been together two years and I thought we had a future together. He is usually a calm person but blows up every now and then swearing and cursing. He has never hit anyone and is not violent but no one has ever called me a t*rd in my life.... (another word for sh*t)

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2011):

AuntyEm agony auntIf he was just snapping at you then maybe he was being thoughtless, but driving fast when he knows it scares you is quite cruel.

My advice would be to monitor his moods towards you, if he gets abusive again then maybe you should suggest a break while he gets some anger management...if he doesn't want to go this route, then it might be time to think about ending the relationship for good.

Just because someone isn't punching or slapping you doesn't mean you arn't suffering abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse are just as bad, so if you feel threatened, then you really need to escape from the relationship.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (6 June 2011):

Honeypie agony auntWow how old is he? 5?

Honestly, he could have called you worse names, but the fact of the matter is that he doesn't think he did anything wrong and that he totally disresepcted you.

Ball is in your court. Don't forget, YOU are in charge of how people treat you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011):

Oh, my goodness! I can't believe he's STILL your partner.

I would NOT put up with that shit, from ANYONE and you shouldn't either.

He hasn't hit anyone... but calling you cruel names and bullying you is so much better? Don't EVER let anyone treat you like that. You deserve respect.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011):

tell him what you have just said, and say that if he carry's on you will break up with him, no boy should ever treat you like that especially if you have told him you don't like it.go with what your heart wants you love him then tell him he has to stop and listen to you, if you dont love him, tell him and the reason and live your life happy, never let a boy treat you like that :))

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011):

End the relationship now. Period.

You deserve to be treated with respect. You said it has never happened before but I'm pretty sure it WILL happen again.

I wish you all the best! :)

David

PS I'm sure you'll find someone who can treat you with respect you deserve.

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