A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: i am so untrustworthy under the influence of alcohol, i flirt and used to yrs ago just kiss men behind my bf back. i now have decided to give up alcohol because i also have blackouts and sometimes get fairly violent. my bf found out that i was flirting around a fella i know that lives near by last nite and has ended it. but last nite i had rang him and asked him to meet up with me and he said no which made me angry drink more cry and smash my phone, i dont want to lose him, i know drink doesnt agree with me also i rarely drink about once a month. iv been with my bf over 6yrs does anybody think he'll take me back or how i can win him back or should i just let him go. i dunno why i do these thimgs cuz i do love him dearly with all my heart.can u help me win him back please
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): First of all I don't think that you are untrustworthy - you just have a problem with drink and thats the plain simple fact of it all!!!
The only way you can ever win him back is by changing your ways starting first of all by giving up the booze, getting professional help and let him see you are making a huge effort to do this!!! Write to him, tell him how you are feeling - but you have to be sober doin this!!!
Its tough but its the drink thats the fault of this nothing else - give it up for good!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2007): Send him a letter so you can get out all you want to say to him. You have identified the problem you have with alcohol and you want to do something about it. Tell him exactly what you told us. Tell him how you feel about him and how ashamed you feel about letting him down. Post the letter but dont try to talk to him if hes made it clear he wants space. The beauty of a letter is he can read it many times and think about what you are saying without being distracted by your presence. He may feel that he can write you back and who knows where things will end up.
Good luck and keep your chin up. Avoid drink at all costs and tell your doctor that you have a problem in this area. Show him you mean business and sort yourself out. We're all here for you .
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (20 March 2007):
First of all you need to resolve your drinking problems... Obviously just giving up isn't going to help you. You could see a counsellor or maybe join a self-help group such as AA. I'm not saying it's easy, but if you really want to be able to have your boyfriend back in your life, you need to make it the kind of life he wants to be in.
Once your life is into some level of stability, and only then, should ask him to reconsider. Show him all the positive changes you made in your life. Show him how much better you are now, and how trustworthy you are.
If he has moved on then, you should move on too. It's a harsh fact of life, but sometimes there are mistakes you can't undo. Rather then dwell on it and regret it, you should take the lesson and learn from it; that way you'll never make the same mistake again.
Best wishes & Good luck.
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (20 March 2007):
Give up drink permanently, not even once a month! Cos that one time is probably gonna make you do something crazy. And smashed your phone? Maybe learning some self control will help you in life more ways than one
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