A
female
age
36-40,
*hrisgoodgirl
writes:I have been married for a year and a half and I think that I have made a mistake. My husband is "old fashioned" and likes me to stay home with our son and cook and clean and all of that lovely stuff. He likes to guilt trip me when I want to go out with friends, or when I don't want to do certain things for him. When we first met, we dated for a couple months, broke up then I found out I was pregnant. He said he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. When my son was 1 my husband and I got back together, and were engaged 4 months later, married a year after that. I believe things were rushed and I am not happy anymore. How do I deal with this? I need to find myself again...
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (3 October 2009):
 I think couples counseling would be a great idea for you. If he's not willing to go you should go alone. I think it would be a good way to get a handle on what you want and need out of your marriage, and also to find good ways to discuss this with your husband (who definitely sounds like the controlling type).
Good luck.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (3 October 2009):
 You are entitled to time with your friends, and though I don't know him, he does sound rather controlling.
You said that you rushed through this decision. I'm not judging, but did you and your husband discuss your expectations for marriage before you guys got married? Did you realize he was the old-fashioned type?
I'd like to help you, but can you please clarify this for me? I'm confused. Thanks!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2009): yep, I agree, sounds like a control freak...and it will get worse!
His true colors are coming out, if you aren't happy now you won't be in the future.
Stay strong!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 October 2009):
Hmm. He does sound a bit controlling. First of all, you ARE entitled to time with you friends, and he can't stop you. You do as much as he does (in fairness, probably more), so you deserve time to be with your friends. Do not let him control you. If you think you rushed this, then think very carefully about whether you want this to continue. Don't be unhapppy in a marriage. Tell him that you are entitled to time to yourself with friends and see where that takes you.
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