A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend, and best friend, of 8 years finished with me and is seeing someone else. I still have deep feelings for him and we see each other regularly as friends. However, it is killing me. I want more than friendship, but he says he cannot offer any false hope - at this time. I am so scared I will lose him forever if I don't keep seeing him, what should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): follow your heart, whatever makes you happy whether temporarily or not, just do it. just remember you are the one hurting and noone else, whatever other people's opinions are its theirs.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (4 July 2007):
 Hi,
I really agree with Flower Girl, You need to move on and not see him. Just by saying to you he cannot offer you false hope....for now. He has offered exactly that, and knows it.
Honey, he is keeping his options open with you. Dont let this happen.
Give him a wide berth for a while, and get your act together. Easy to say I know, I am going through some torment myself. But it really helps if you are strong, and dont let this guy see you fall to peices.
If their is any chance of you getting back to-gether, it wont happen with you sitting their waiting for him to make his mind up.
You are dealing with a man who has two ladies, that are interested in him. This is not good.
You need to be very strong and not let this guy have an option with you. Then maybe he will realise what he is missing.
In the meantime get on with your life and find some happiness for yourself.
XXX You will be OK
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A
female
reader, yellowdaffodil  +, writes (4 July 2007):
Wise answers everyone. I understand your pain and it is a truly is as if someone has reached in your chest and ripped your heart out. I am feeling it now also. I have shaken with fear, prayed, weeped buckets and lost 8 pounds. This has been two weeks for me. Today I realized friendship is not possible. Surprisingly my appetite returned. You need time to focus on yourself and your healing.
There are stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It doesn't have to happen in that sequence either. Once you hit the acceptance stage you will find peace in your heart. You love him so when you think of him send him love and then let it go. His spirit will sense when you have completely released him from your heart and if he loves you and wants you in his life as more than a friend he will let you know. There is nothing else you can do.
We are all connected by forces that are not understandable but our spirits find a way of bringing the right people in our lives when we allow it. Right now, close your eyes, send your love to his spirit and then let it go. I'm doing it right now to my ex as I write this to you. We may be living in two different parts of the world but I'm thinking of you. By the way my ex is British. Another connection.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2007): I've been in this situation myself. The thing is if you really care for this guy his friendship wont be good enough. You want more and he can't give you give you what you desire. You will be best of staying just friends for now and try not to put your self in a posistion were you will put your friendship at risk. If he wants to be more than friends in future he'll let you know.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (4 July 2007):
 It's not doing you any good still having the contact with him , you have to see him when he is in a new relationship which is going to be very hard on you as you feel he should still be with you.
The way i see it is he is giving you false hope by telling you 'he cannot offer you false hope at this time', because you are probably looking at it that maybe in the future there is a chance you could be together again.
If he really wants to still be close friends with you then he will accept it if you tell him you need some time to get over this and it would be best if you did not see each other for a while.
If there is any chance of you being together again this will become clear to him when you have no contact, i firmly believe you don't realise what you have lost until it has gone completely.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 I'm with YummyMummy.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (4 July 2007):
 I would stop seeing him for now. You need time to heal sweetie and he should respect that. You don't need to cut off contact with him forever. Just time for you to stop hurting. He can't string you along by telling you he can't offer you more right now.
You need to walk away and live your life hunni. First thing to do is get over him romantically seen as he is with someone else. It might take 5 mins, it may take 5 months but you need to do this for you. To stop the pain you are feeling.
If you are really good friends he will respect you wanting time out and let you get over him.
xxxxxxxx
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