A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:We've been seeing each other on and off for a few months. We've slept together but he still doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. He keeps coming in and out of my life. It had been a month and out of the blue he contacted me again. I'm heartbroken, I don't understand. Here is our conversation the other night on facebook? Why does he do this?is there any dating site you don't belong to?i've told you how much i care about you. you know how i feel about you so why did you delete me and then start talking to me again.Well I like you as a person but u know I don't want a relationshipOk. I've made it clear that I care about you more than anything and I know you don't feel the same. It's like you're trying to rub it in that you don't want to be with me. Don't you know how much that hurts.Ok I'll leave u alone again thenLike I said I care about you more than anything. You're still all I think about. For some reason I can't get you off my mind. You have no idea how that makes me feel. That makes me feel like the stupidest person in the world because I know you never think of me and don't give a crap about me. I'm not stupid, I know you don't like me. If you did you'd be with me. I think you do want a relationship, just with someone else and not me. That's why I don't know why you keep coming back into my life just to tell me you don't want me. It's like you get pleasure out of it.If u want to hang out we can
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (17 July 2011):
 He comes back because you continue to have sex with him, regardless of what he says or does. You can't buy his love with sex, it just doesn't work that way. Your behavior has taught him that it's okay to disrespect and use you. Wait until you're in a real, committed relationship to have sex if you want a man to respect you, and above all else, don't keep chasing someone that clearly isn't showing any interest outside of a casual shag every so often. Your words and actions are contradictory; you tell him you want a relationship, but by sleeping with him in spite of being told he doesn't, you're basically saying you've accepted it and don't mind being a casual lay. Move on, and let the guy chase you next time.
A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (17 July 2011):
hi im in exactly the same situation at the moment a guy i like has been the same with me since march so i know completely how you are feeling it is not nice at all when they are all you think about heres what i am going to do tommorrow i am going to send him one more text saying "can,t carry on like this anymore this situation is driving me mad don,t know what else i can possibly do now do you want to be with me or not?" then if he replies no ill send a simple text saying goodbye and then ill move on eventually thats what i would do because you can,t go on for months wondering if you are ever going to be a proper couple it drives you crazy men like this usually want one thing sex with no strings involved
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (17 July 2011):
 Hello,
He keeps coming back for sex. You are his reserve or fall back girl. That's why he keeps coming back. He has no interest in any relationship because he gets what he wants anyway when he feels like it. You need to cut this one out of your life.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (17 July 2011):
 You need to cut contact with this guy because he is hurting you. You want a relationship with him but he straight out said he doesn't want one. The reason he coming back is to see if he could get sex from you. And if you are willing to give that to him, he will keep coming back. You are his fallback girl. In his mind someone who adores him, so you feed his ego and also gives him sex when he needs it.
The mistake you made was not waiting until you were in a relationship before giving it up to him. Whatever the case, you have to try to forget him to protect yourself. He is ruing and hurting your self esteem. Know your worth and kick him to the curb.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (17 July 2011):
You need to cut contact with this guy because he is hurting you. You want a relationship with him but he straight out said he doesn't want one. The reason he coming back is to see if he could get sex from you. And if you are willing to give that to him, he will keep coming back. You are his fallback girl. In his mind someone who adores him, so you feed his ego and also gives him sex when he needs it.
The mistake you made was not waiting until you were in a relationship before giving it up to him. Whatever the case, you have to try to forget him to protect yourself. He is ruing and hurting your self esteem. Know your worth and kick him to the curb.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (17 July 2011):
You need to cut contact with this guy because he is hurting you. You want a relationship with him but he straight out said he doesn't want one. The reason he coming back is to see if he could get sex from you. And if you are willing to give that to him, he will keep coming back. You are his fallback girl. In his mind someone who adores him, so you feed his ego and also gives him sex when he needs it.
The mistake you made was not waiting until you were in a relationship before giving it up to him. Whatever the case, you have to try to forget him to protect yourself. He is ruing and hurting your self esteem. Know your worth and kick him to the curb.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2011): Ditch him.
It is very clear to me from this conversation that your emotional intelligence level is way above his, as is your analyzation of this situation. Your answers are paragraphs long. His are five words. Does that not send a clear message as to how unbalanced this relationship is?
It's strange. It sounds like an adult explaining something to a child. I doubt he is grasping half of what you say.
Honestly, ditch him. But make sure its a good kick to the curb, and you get the last word. He's used you for sex, and we both know you deserve better.
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