A
female
age
41-50,
*ittlesuziepie
writes:Hi again. I got some good advice last time and now I need more. I am so frustrated with my love life and this man I am seeing. Once in a while when we have sex he will go soft and stop doing it. He gets upset and says sorry and its not me and blames it on what ever seems right at the time but I know deep down inside he isn't telling me what it really is. He can get hard but looses it so I know its not that he can't get there. I asked him if I'm not doing it for him, I've asked what I can do to make it better for him but he insists it is not what I'm doing or not doing. Even if I get kinky he will still lose it. We were set up by mr sister he was one of her friends grew up with her basically as I did not. He was very emotional when we first got together and he was all about phone sex he was crazy good at it but when it came to having real contact with me he couldn't perform saying he was just nervous. Well here we are over a year later and we still have this issue. Could he be gay? Not wanting to expose himself to all his childhood friends. He can perform sometimes so it can't be ED can it? Please try to inlighten me as I am afraid to break it off he is sweet and takes care of me but I'm not happy.
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (10 June 2007):
 The guy could have a range of medical or psychological problems that would account for his sexual issues. It maybe nothing to do with you personally. You could suggest that he seeks some professional help but he would have to be ready and motivated to do so.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 June 2007):
 I'm sure his erection problems have nothing to do with you. Maybe he is, exactly, just nervous. Maybe he has diabetes and doesn't know that yet? How old is he? The penis loses sensitivity with age, and that is a fact that not many people are aware of. Maybe he doesn't have a clue as to why he is having this problem with you, so don't feel that he's hiding it from you. It must be very embarrasing for him after one year.
I'm sure he knows you're not happy with your sex life. So, maybe he is taking care of it in private. It can be very difficult to bring the subject to him, because it might make things worse for him, but eventually you will need to. Your insatisfaction will only grow, and things will get out of control. Now is the time to address the problem.
If he's a mature man at all, he will understand that no person can live without sexual satisfaction.
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